The not so pretty...and the beautiful.

It's so funny how somehow adoption from a third world country at times gets glamorized..like it's this noble thing to do. And it is, don't get me wrong, but I feel like if anyone is noble and courageous it is these children whose lives will change in a moment, although for the better, it's still so much to process in their little brains. For one...all of the little girls heads are shaved due to the prominence of head lice..to fight off this yucky little bug, they shave the heads of the children and put the red dirt (clay) on their heads.

Red clay doesn't hide this sweet little face!

Then there are parasites-- Very treatable, yet children living in conditions where they can barely afford to eat,  don't get meds that could easily treat this. Dehydration, emotional issues, burns, developmental delays, attachment issues once adopted, therapy (speech, etc.) ....seriously I think I could fill up a page of all of the things I have read, studied, prayed, and worried about for not only our future child but ALL of them, millions and millions of them!! I am learning all of the not so pretty of this process and I know it will be hard..on the child, on everyone involved...but for me, focusing on the negative isn't healthy. I want to be educated and realistic, just as I prepared myself as best I could when I had my first child.
  The more I learn about these women, the more inspired I am by them.  Their definition of beauty is so different from how we define it here. It is deeply rooted in how strong they are, the love for their family and God, and their ideals of happiness. I pray I can take just a little of that home with me when I visit Uganda.

Mama wearing her baby

Every single face has a unique story

 It's amazing to me how every child looks so different but one common theme is their deep, dark eyes. They say so much! They tell you so much without a word- if they are happy, sad, mad, hopeless, curious, excited...

We got wonderful news today that our old agency is agreeing to do an amendment to the home study (which they have to come to my home to do, but not as time consuming this time.) and to go into an inter-agency agreement. This saves us soooo much money and time so this was THE best news! The stars are aligning and I am so thankful to our God who has orchestrated this entire process.  All the good and bad must happen to get us to OUR precious child.

Sooner rather than later...

I spoke with our new adoption coordinator and went over all the things that need to be done paperwork wise on our end...which is having our social worker from our old agency add an amendment to our home study with the new country specifications and also for our old agency to agree to an "interagency agreement" which just basically says they will allow to put on paper that I can use my old homestudy. We are waiting to hear back to see if they are agreeing so specifically pray for that please!
Also, big news...she is pretty confident we will receive a referral of our little one by April/May since we are ahead of the game because we are so far ahead on paperwork! I was a little shocked/excited/nervous by this news! Lots of things settling in..I spoke with my mom about the 24 hour plane trip to Uganda and traveling home with a baby in tow and it all kind of sank in that this is happening!

Quotes I love...

Throughout these past months I have saved many quotes that I love..just thought I would share a few...the first one I have printed and read daily as it is in an accessible place. I love the last line of this..it is such a prayer I would never think to pray if I hadn't read this. "Make us uncomfortable as we bear the burden of what breaks your heart." This also reminds me of the book (my favorite book ever ), "Kisses From Katie" and how she (Katie) prays this throughout the entire book... to make her life so hard and to work so hard for His glory that she has nothing in her left but a prayer. Gives me goosebumps every time I read it! Now that we are going to Uganda, how cool would it be to visit Amazima--her school for all of her girls?! 

BREAK OUR HEARTS FOR WHAT BREAKS YOURS

ENDURANCE

TRUMP FEAR

WALK THROUGH IT

First Book!

I got this book at the beginning of our adoption journey and it's funny how now the title is so relevant!

Change of Plans...

Wow, where do I begin? We have been on a bit of a roller coaster of emotions over the past few weeks, feeling a little bit "off" concerning our agency and their transparency through this process. To not get too personal out of respect for our agency, I am going to be a bit vague. We sensed some issues on their end regarding referrals, orphanages they are approved through, etc...and after looking a little further into it, realized my hunch was indeed correct.  Our agency has ALL referrals on hold as of now. I would not have known this if I had not checked in. I quickly began researching other agencies, speaking to different program directors, etc. and realized that Ethiopian adoptions, although very strict, are still progressing. My immediate concern when switching agencies is starting all over, and having to start at the beginning of another wait list. I spoke with John and we both decided that we are open to any country in Africa and not to be closed minded to a new plan. So, after discussing and thinking and researching and praying and everything in between...we decided to make the switch to a new agency.

This agency handles within Ethiopia, DR Congo, and Uganda. I was very interested in Uganda and Haiti in the beginning of this entire process. Haiti was out, due to the fact we had not been married for 10 years. Uganda was as well, as you had to live there for 3 years after the adoption of your child....until recently! The Ugandan courts are now granting guardianship to adoptive parents if it is in the best interest of the child and our agency has successfully completed many adoptions this past year and was granted guardianship every time without any problems, then the full adoption takes place once you return to the states. So, we decided to change countries to Uganda, and God willing, this will be where our future child is from! Even better news, since this is a new program for them (just over a year old), since we are "paper ready", we will most likely not be waitlisted (there are 14 in the middle of the paper chase for Uganda...) and he thinks there is no reason we wouldn't have our referral of our child by this July (maybe before) and have traveled to Uganda and back home with our child for good by this Christmas! Sidenote: No one has any control over timing...this is just an estimate...anything can happen that is beyond the scope of our agency's control but this is very promising nonetheless!

I truly think everything happens for a reason, and this entire process is not in my hands, so if we are not willing to roll with the punches and trust God's Will in all of this, it will make you a little bonkers to say the least! We feel very confident about our decision, and just ask for your prayers and support as we navigate through this change and anticipate our sweet child sooner than we imagined!

For everyone who has donated money, clothing, diapers, formula, etc...no worries, the children who need it will still be receiving, just in Uganda rather than Ethiopia! Again, thank you for your support, this process is so much easier knowing we have so many people who already love this baby! I will keep you updated all along the way!! xo

Amy

"Spiritual Warfare"

Spiritual Warfare by Ron DiCianni | Christian Art - Christian Framed Prints | Tapestry Productions
In the car the other day, I somehow landed on a station with the artist, "Ron  DiCianni" speaking with the renowned "James Dobson", who wrote so many books I can't even count on Christian parenting. They spoke in particular about Spiritual warfare and how prayer is our best defense against the physical realm of sin, government, etc..Dr. Dobson mentioned he had this print in the hallway to his children's room, and seeing it nightly was a reminder to pray over his children..at at time of day when we are all tired, many times frustrated, that the best and only way to have a united front at home is to pray with and over your children. The artist went on to describe the painting in depth, and enough so that I just had to come home and google it to see it! I fell in love with it, especially after hearing the story behind it. He mentioned the window pane forming a cross in the background as the father kneels over his child in prayer and he painted this in a time when artists weren't exactly "popular" if their work pertained to Christianity and religion.  I am not an "artsy" person but this one is so special, it has to be in my home! Just wanted to pass along to any others who might be interested:)

Love this little poem....

He Is Mine A sweet adoption poem, acknowledging that our children are entrusted to us by God. By Valerie Kay Gwin, from Chicken Soup for the Adopted Soul I tiptoed into your room one night. I watched you sleeping there. Your tiny body looked so snug Wrapped in peaceful slumber's care. I thought of how you came to be The child we'd longed to know. I wondered at the sight of you: "How could she let you go?" Tears streamed down my cheeks as I Felt the pain she must have known. For I will have to let you go Some day when you are grown. A mother I might never meet Had given me her son. Yet, surely as you've filled my heart, A piece of hers you'd won. "How could she let you go?" The question kept returning. And in the depths of my own heart. A question kept on burning. "How can I ever let you go When years have come and gone?" I stood there by your crib until The nighttime turned to dawn. And as the sun peeked through the shades, The voice of God broke through. "I trusted her to give him life And now I'm trusting to you. "To show him what is right and wrong, to love him and to be The one who teaches him the way To come back home to me. "He wasn't hers to give, you know. And he's not yours to own. I've placed him in your life to love But he is mine … on loan."

Lucky Number 7

We are number 7 on the list as of this week...I emailed the director to ask him to let me know when our dossier is officially at the Embassy in DC and in Ethiopia and all is well. I have heard they are so unbelievably specific that it can be tricky, but he says all is well on that front so it looks like we did everything correctly. For example, "put 2 new passport pictures of each person adopting in separate, blank envelopes, sealed, with signatures on the back of each with the name written below, and names written below"...that is just a teeny example of if you happen to miss ONE little thing, such as no signature, etc...it will get thrown back at you and will have to be re-submitted, which just lengthens the process.
Not a whole lot to write nowadays, so in the upcoming year, as we wait... I will post if I have new info or news, need specific prayers, or anything I feel I would like to document in this waiting process for our child. Some of it may be of no interest to you...but I would like to keep this blog as somewhat of a journal to reflect back on in the future and most importantly for our little one to have as a keepsake! I won't promise to blog a ton, and may go through periods of time when I simply have no time to, but PLEASE continue to keep our family in your prayers...the waiting period is the hardest part! xo and Happy New Year to everyone!!!

APPROVAL!

Another step complete! Our I600a form is officially approved! We got our approval at the beginning of last week but due to the flu and way too much sickness at our home, I haven't had time to post! What does this mean? Our dossier is being authenticated and translated in Ethiopia and we will be officially waiting at the beginning of the New Year! We are thrilled for what 2013 has in store for our family!
  Again, thank you for your support and your love!

Meetings, anxiety, a new orphanage, and more fingerprints!

I met in person today with our agency director, and spoke in depth about where we are with the referral process, etc...he said we are at number 8. He explained there are 2 families in front of us who want 2 children, a couple that want boy or girl, girl only, boy only, etc...so the actual number is a bit confusing to most...but as he and I agree...there is no need to get caught up in a number, it's God's Hands on this..not the agency director, or the orphanage director in Ethiopia, or mine or John's or anyone else's but God's, very capable, hands.
I just know God sits up there and looks down and me and laughs, (probably a good ole belly laugh) when he sees me down here "planning" and having anxiety with thoughts of "will it be a boy or a girl", "can I even handle a girl?", "can I really handle 4 kids? FOUR! My life is over forever and ever", "when I do get a referral, how long will it be to we get to see him/her?" and "then when we have to leave the baby to come home, I won't be able to function", and "should I stay there?" "how long will it be until I get to go back? 6 weeks or 4 months?" "will the baby be ok to move to yet another home at the transition home before coming home to us?" "what if when we are home, the baby doesn't attach to me like I have read about so much online?"."what if my own kids have a hard time with all of this change"..and it goes on and on and on....I know He just shakes his head and thinks, "Oh my child, ye of little faith! Pray to me! You are not in control..but just wait, I am teaching you... but it is funny to Me that you THINK you have any of this handled without Me".

I know it sounds goofy to have a dialogue going on in my head between God and I, but in the past few months I have honestly thought about if God were here, what would he say to me? He would tell me to turn to Him for help. Not my husband, family, or friends...they are helpful of course, but He is the one who brings peace. That's always my answer. But I do tend to forget...a little too often.

On a very positive note, the director also said they officially have a verbal agreement (so not 100% until it's on paper) that our agency will start receiving referrals from a little orphanage about 30 minutes outside of the capital of Ethiopia. It's a town called "Nazrete", which some refer to as ""Adam". The names of the orphanage is "Selam".  It is a pretty large orphanage and in comparison to Ethiopia is a nice facility. They are also expanding in the near future to accommodate growth. So, what does that mean for us? Another orphanage sending referrals means more children referred to parents like us waiting:)

Lastly, John and I had our infamous i600a Biometrics appt. yesterday at 3:00 over near the airport. It was quick, to the point, and we were in and out in 15 minutes. We had a good time in there with those workers...the lady told John to relax, when electronically taking his fingerprints. I told him, "John she's not going to bite you, loosen up!" to which John replies..."Oh that is what I am hoping for, that she will bite me"...to which they die laughing and I reply, "Ok now this is just getting weird". We get in the car, and I said, "ok how did that go from a Biometrics appt. to you wanting an officer to bite you? " That man, he's not a chatterbox, but sometimes what comes out, just leaves me puzzled. It gave me a good laugh though. So that was it...our FINAL step, (now we just wait for a couple of weeks for our approval for that form) and WE ARE DONE WITH THE PAPERCHASE! Yah! Such a great Christmas present.  :)