Lucky Number 7

We are number 7 on the list as of this week...I emailed the director to ask him to let me know when our dossier is officially at the Embassy in DC and in Ethiopia and all is well. I have heard they are so unbelievably specific that it can be tricky, but he says all is well on that front so it looks like we did everything correctly. For example, "put 2 new passport pictures of each person adopting in separate, blank envelopes, sealed, with signatures on the back of each with the name written below, and names written below"...that is just a teeny example of if you happen to miss ONE little thing, such as no signature, etc...it will get thrown back at you and will have to be re-submitted, which just lengthens the process.
Not a whole lot to write nowadays, so in the upcoming year, as we wait... I will post if I have new info or news, need specific prayers, or anything I feel I would like to document in this waiting process for our child. Some of it may be of no interest to you...but I would like to keep this blog as somewhat of a journal to reflect back on in the future and most importantly for our little one to have as a keepsake! I won't promise to blog a ton, and may go through periods of time when I simply have no time to, but PLEASE continue to keep our family in your prayers...the waiting period is the hardest part! xo and Happy New Year to everyone!!!

APPROVAL!

Another step complete! Our I600a form is officially approved! We got our approval at the beginning of last week but due to the flu and way too much sickness at our home, I haven't had time to post! What does this mean? Our dossier is being authenticated and translated in Ethiopia and we will be officially waiting at the beginning of the New Year! We are thrilled for what 2013 has in store for our family!
  Again, thank you for your support and your love!

Meetings, anxiety, a new orphanage, and more fingerprints!

I met in person today with our agency director, and spoke in depth about where we are with the referral process, etc...he said we are at number 8. He explained there are 2 families in front of us who want 2 children, a couple that want boy or girl, girl only, boy only, etc...so the actual number is a bit confusing to most...but as he and I agree...there is no need to get caught up in a number, it's God's Hands on this..not the agency director, or the orphanage director in Ethiopia, or mine or John's or anyone else's but God's, very capable, hands.
I just know God sits up there and looks down and me and laughs, (probably a good ole belly laugh) when he sees me down here "planning" and having anxiety with thoughts of "will it be a boy or a girl", "can I even handle a girl?", "can I really handle 4 kids? FOUR! My life is over forever and ever", "when I do get a referral, how long will it be to we get to see him/her?" and "then when we have to leave the baby to come home, I won't be able to function", and "should I stay there?" "how long will it be until I get to go back? 6 weeks or 4 months?" "will the baby be ok to move to yet another home at the transition home before coming home to us?" "what if when we are home, the baby doesn't attach to me like I have read about so much online?"."what if my own kids have a hard time with all of this change"..and it goes on and on and on....I know He just shakes his head and thinks, "Oh my child, ye of little faith! Pray to me! You are not in control..but just wait, I am teaching you... but it is funny to Me that you THINK you have any of this handled without Me".

I know it sounds goofy to have a dialogue going on in my head between God and I, but in the past few months I have honestly thought about if God were here, what would he say to me? He would tell me to turn to Him for help. Not my husband, family, or friends...they are helpful of course, but He is the one who brings peace. That's always my answer. But I do tend to forget...a little too often.

On a very positive note, the director also said they officially have a verbal agreement (so not 100% until it's on paper) that our agency will start receiving referrals from a little orphanage about 30 minutes outside of the capital of Ethiopia. It's a town called "Nazrete", which some refer to as ""Adam". The names of the orphanage is "Selam".  It is a pretty large orphanage and in comparison to Ethiopia is a nice facility. They are also expanding in the near future to accommodate growth. So, what does that mean for us? Another orphanage sending referrals means more children referred to parents like us waiting:)

Lastly, John and I had our infamous i600a Biometrics appt. yesterday at 3:00 over near the airport. It was quick, to the point, and we were in and out in 15 minutes. We had a good time in there with those workers...the lady told John to relax, when electronically taking his fingerprints. I told him, "John she's not going to bite you, loosen up!" to which John replies..."Oh that is what I am hoping for, that she will bite me"...to which they die laughing and I reply, "Ok now this is just getting weird". We get in the car, and I said, "ok how did that go from a Biometrics appt. to you wanting an officer to bite you? " That man, he's not a chatterbox, but sometimes what comes out, just leaves me puzzled. It gave me a good laugh though. So that was it...our FINAL step, (now we just wait for a couple of weeks for our approval for that form) and WE ARE DONE WITH THE PAPERCHASE! Yah! Such a great Christmas present.  :)

Update on donations..

Spoke with our agency director via email today and he just got home from Ethiopia. He said as of this past week things are getting VERY sticky in Ethiopia customs...as in they will not let you through and make every single item going through (diapers, etc) tough. (ie: One person had 200 pairs of shoes for an organization, and they had to pay $500!!!!) That being said, if you are planning on a tangible donation, it will be in the best interest of all involved if we do monetary donations only. If you want to give specific items to the children, I can buy what you specifically would like for your money to go to once I am there. I have decided that is what I will do..go to Ethiopia, talk to the nannys and see exactly what they need and go buy it myself. This way I know EXACTLY where our donations go! If you want a tax deductible donation you must make the check out to "Small World" rather than myself, as I am not an official "charity".  And as always, thank you , thank you, thank you to all who have so graciously donated thus far!

More about the charity, we spoke with our accountant, and he suggested starting a charity, but then once we really looked into all involved, it will be thousands of dollars that we need to put towards the adoption at this time. But I do pray in the future to do this. It was so exciting to think about it, but I know with the changes of the new baby in the family and everything, running a full blown charity is just not in my immediate future..as much as I want it to be..I know my limits:) 

Another big event, this Thursday we will do our biometrics appt. and this marks a very important end to our "paper chase" as they call it in the adoption world. And, our director said we are #8 on the list. It's a small agency, so #8 would be oh so exciting for a big agency, but for us, it still means quite a bit more waiting. (Many large agencies at our phase of the game we would be #80 or more because they do such large amounts of referrals so #8 with them would mean in a month or 2:)I still pray for a 2013 referral, but open to whatever is supposed to be.  

Update and thank yous:)

I am in bed with a yucky sickness:( No new news on our front with the adoption..just waiting until the 29th (in 6 days) to do our biometrics appt. and we are DONE.  I will be so happy to have that done.  Then, we just wait...and wait..and wait.  In a way it is good because we have lots of time to prepare..and get caught up on things I have been putting off around the house. I will post again when I feel better:) I just wanted to update what was going on, which isn't a lot! Happy late Thanksgiving to everyone!! xo

Video of newborn baby found in street..happens every..single..day..

Thankful

November is Orphan Awareness Month and I have been trying to spread the word!

 Thank you so much to all who have donated, supported, and prayed for not only our child, but for all the children who we also want to benefit from our donations. Big things ahead:) 2 different companies have offered to collect donations for us and also Gray's preschool teacher agreed to let us put a box with needed supplies outside of the classroom...
Here is a flyer I made for collecting (very quickly so it's not too fancy:)

Donations coming in and an Ethiopia Orphanage Video..

Our first donation came last night in tangible form from our sweet lil neighbor , Skylar. She brought over formula for the orphanage! Another sweet neighbor gave money, and a few different friends made donations via my blog! And..several people told me in person they are giving money as well! So nice of everyone to contribute when I know money is  tight for many and Christmas is the time of year when it really is! 

I got the name of one of the orphanages that my agency uses right now. I found this orphanage has many needs and they are opening another "branch" so to speak in a nearby town. They need so many things it is unreal...bunk beds, soap, cups, you name it. I am collecting the money and will see where it needs to be used the most and will let everyone know what that is of course! There are so many needs, it is truly hard to even pick which ones take priority. I emailed the director and asked him to give me what the top needs will be in the coming months. I can't wait to bless this place.. which many children will call "home", and for some it is home forever:(

The following is a excerpt from a blog from a girl who visited the Miskaye orphanage and posted about it:

"All the babies were clearly fed and well loved. But they were all soaked. Soaked through. Amy and I picked each baby up to hug and kiss them and each one was just as wet as the last. I couldn't understand this -- the babies at Wide Horizons had never been wet. But later I learned that Miskaye is still struggling to make monthly ends meet and they cannot afford disposable diapers which are quite costly in Ethiopia. They don't have enough parents coming in bringing diapers, etc,. so they have to use cloth diapers and even these are ripped & threadbare now from so many washings. Poor babies. Poor nannies too. Washing cloth diapers is not a job I relish! "

Breaks. My. Heart. Can you imagine YOUR child laying in their crib in urine all day?

Thankfully God keeps providing for our own adoption costs! We kind of just pay in increments along the way as things get approved, etc. so that is good. Any money I raise for through tshirts etc. I will still put towards the orphanage fund. I truly think we can make such a difference in this place! 

Below is a video of an orphanage in Ethiopia...remember you are making a difference-just because we don't see it , doesn't mean it's not there unfortunately.:(

Skip to 1:22 in the video to see all those babies in cribs! Unbelievable!

Donate this Christmas...:)

UPDATE on this post:: Monetary donations are preferred as customs in Ethiopia is very strict! However, if you had rather put together a care package or buy individual items I will pack them all up and ship them no problem!! Thank you again so very much!

I am going to start very early collecting as much as possible for the orphanage and transition home in Ethiopia. This Christmas season if you feel inclined to donate monetarily you can do so on my blog via paypal and I will announce where every last cent goes later in the process when I find what the most need is. I can guarantee you it will be used to buy things for children in this orphanage that we buy every week for our own children and don't think twice. If you would like to donate items instead...this is a list of items I will be collecting, but they would like anything, they are kids! It doesn't have to be pricey, if you see something adorable on the Target discount rack for 75% off , grab it, as long as it is NEW, I can send it to Ethiopia. It doesn't have to be "namebrand"--generic is fine! Best of all, I am pretty sure I will have many pictures of them in clothes, diapers, playing with toys, etc...donated by YOU!
If you don't think you have any extra money to give, here are just a few ways to possibly make it happen:

1. Don't drink Starbucks for a few days
2. Skip eating out one meal and eat at home  
3. Save your spare change in a giving jar (let your kids get in on it)
4. Forgo expensive drinks one weekend and drink water instead, considering one glass of wine is average $12 that's a good return:)
5. Instead of taking a date night that requires a lot of money like a dinner and a movie, go for a run/walk..sit and talk (in peace) over coffee
6. Ask people you work/friends with to donate $1! Yes, even $1 adds up really quick over a period of time..and I could find some fun toys at Dollar Tree for the kids!
7. Sell old books on ebay or amazon
8. Sell old clothes on ebay or online or in local thrift stores (I saw on the Today Show where girls were making BIG money doing this!
9. Sell an old piece of furniture on Craiglist
10. Clean out your garage and you can always find something that someone on Craigslist will buy

Below is a list of items currently needed::

Toys- baby teethers, pacifiers, etc. as well 

Baby powder

Hand sanitizer

Baby wipes (unscented)

Cloth Diapers

Disposable Diapers

Infant Tylenol and Advil (Childrens as well)

Multi Vitamins syrup & tablets for different age groups

Iron drops for infants

Anti fungal ointment

Diaper rash cream 

Lice Treatment shampoo

Coloring Books and Crayons

Baby bottles

Baby t-shirts

Baby sweaters

Hats for the babies

Baby Lotion

Band-Aids/Neosporin

Towels for the babies

Blankets for the babies

Children’s Books

Toothpaste and toothbrushes

Pedialyte

Shoes (especially Crocs for toddlers/big kids/and caretakers)

Clothes

Items for caretakers such as Bibles, perfume, clothing, etc.

If you write a letter or have your child draw them a letter I will have it translated for you:)

You can mail to me at :

4225 Carrolton Drive Franklin, TN 37064 OR if you are local you can drop off anytime to me OR I can meet you OR I can come to you!! I have a big storage room that my goal is to PACK FULL of things for these children!

Thank you for your support!!

Amy

Fingerprint Dates! (and some pics)

Addis, Ababa (capital of Ethiopia)

Our letter arrived from immigration today stating our biometrics (fingerprinting) appointment for Nov. 29! I have heard you could go early and to show up, but then a "friend" (an online fellow adoptive TN mama who I love and have never met!) told me that's a no go. She said she could the first time she went (and it expired so she had to go again), but that the Nashville office changed it and she couldn't the second time...so she had to wait. Please pray for Ashley and her husband as they are headed to Ethiopia to pick up her daughter who they have named Elsa (who is almost 3 years old), it will be her first child and I am so excited for her!  She has waited 2 very long years for this child and I am so blessed to have met her via Etsy and she is also the one who designed our tshirt logo and adoption logo (coming soon). They have already been once  to court about 12 weeks ago and still have no second court date, so they are just headed over and taking custody and waiting until they get the court date to come home. Africa time so I hear is MUCH MUCH slower than US time. Everything takes sooo long over there because their culture is just different like that.
I sent my agency director an email with a few questions while I wait for the next step, which is a whole lot more waiting..:)
One of which was the names of the orphanages that they are currently using for referrals. It's cool because I can actually see where they are living...even though I don't know exactly where and they are currently trying to contract to get more agencies to partner with. I was so happy to see these next pics...because no matter what orphanage the child is from...if a court date is assigned, this place (transition home) is where he/she will live until we can get there and scoop him/her up! And it was just renovated this past summer!!

These are actual kids at the transition home where our baby will be! Look how sweet--oh those faces!

They are so happy in the transition home. It is a much higher quality of care than where the orphanage they were at before being referred to a family. There is a pediatritian on staff as well as a nutritionist and 24 hour care by nannys all supported by funds of the adoption process and mostly very giving people who invest in the lives of these precious little people out of the kindness of their hearts! And best of all, for many it's the first time they are taught about God! They even learn English there...arts and crafts, clean clothes (unheard of, but they have a washer/dryer!), and love from their caregivers. If you were their caregiver would you just squeeze and kiss their little cheeks all day? I know I would want to! :) And another reason they are smiling? If they are in this transition home, it means they have been referred and are all going home to a mommy and daddy!

Sister rather than brother?? Hmmm...

So the last few days have been filled with the boys giving us all the reasons why they need a baby sister rather than a baby brother. Here are a few:

Tyler: "We only have 2 girls in our family"..Me: "2?" ..Tyler: "Yes, you and Darla"
Gray: "We need a sister because we would be sweet to her and let her play with pink toys"
Gray: "We already have brothers...we don't want another brother"
Gray at the ENT: Told the Dr. he needed 2 stickers for Ty and Eli and 2 stickers for his brother AND sister (this was about a month ago)
Gray yesterday to his preschool teacher: Told her all about his new baby sister and where she will sleep..
Tyler: "She will need someone to take care of her and rock her to sleep. What if she gets adopted by a family who dosen't have brothers to help take care of her?"

Ok, that last one kind of got me! To be honest...I KNOW boys, girls..not so much...I know I would love a girl or a boy but a girl is really out of my comfort zone. And John is a whole other story...in the beginning he was adamently AGAINST a girl...the thought of raising a girl scares him to death! So, we are now just praying that God will just pick for us...which one is supposed to be in our family!  Only time will tell!!!

Dossier is DONE!

We are officially done with the dossier as of today! What does this mean? We have ONE more thing to do before receiving a referral and that is a last set of fingerprints for immigration. We have to do that before we can send the dossier to Ethiopia. The approval will come after the fingerprints are done which takes a few weeks....It will have to be  authenticated, etc. by the agency which takes a few weeks and then translated, etc.. which takes a few weeks, etc....SO our goal is to hopefully be on the official waiting list for a referral by Christmas! Then, the wait could be 6-12 months from there until we receive a referral.  I am thinking realistically and hoping to have a referral by NEXT Christmas but we could very well be in Ethiopia by then too!  Most of the time if you hear someone waited a few months, it is from the official wait list month, not the beginning of the process....all of the process just takes time and a lot of patience...and no 2 people are alike, much like pregnancies...one person's experience horrible and then other's is relatively easy. Please continue to pray for us and our child. And thank you to anyone who has put me in contact with other Ethiopian adoptive parents and your sweet emails and encouraging words here and there. Means so much!

Dossier Checklist

1. Cover Letter 
2. Family Assessment Report (submitted by agency)
3. Birth Certificates for each spouse
4. Background checks
5. Employment Letters (different forms than those of the homestudy)
6. Bank Letter
7. Medical Health Verification
8. Statement of Intent
9. Reference Letters (3)
10. Obligation of Adoption agency
11. Passport Photos - 4 (2 for each spouse)
12. Copy of current passport photos (1 for each spouse)
13. Power of Attorney (for when in Ethiopia)

I am excited as this list is actually less daunting than the Homestudy list AND our agency is great because they do all the necessary "seals". 

I had to order my marriage certificate from Kauai, Hawaii a few weeks ago, got them in the mail..but then had to send to a different place in Hawaii to get all the necessary stamps for the dossier. So I got that mailed off back to Hawaii today and also saw that my I600A form did in fact reach it's destination at 9:32 AM via FedEx! 

So, Napa Valley here we come!!! We leave in 12 hours and I haven't packed yet!  

It's Dossier Time People!

A dossier, is a huge amount of paperwork, certified, notorized, apposilled documents. Pictures (2x2 passport ones to be exact), pictures of your home, family, etc..to be sent to Ethiopia, along with your approved homestudy, and another big fat fee. You work on the dossier while you wait on the I600A approval, and it will be in with that packet of info as well. On a side note, it's not pronounced, "Dose-yer" like you would think...it is pronounced ," Doss-E-A"...most likely top 10 most mispronounced word ever. I still mess it up 50% of the time.

We got our entire dossier book and wanted to print it all out AND....of course my printer wouldn't work...that printer has been THE biggest pain of this process thus far! lol ok, exaggerating, but it is really about to get thrown into the front yard..so if you see it ..you know what happened.

Anyway, I am looking over our what is needed for our dossier and thankfully most of it is things we have already had for our homestudy. But I would love to get it done asap where I don't have to think about it sitting there and waiting for me to get it done! I will set up another Checklist post that will continue from the Homestudy Checklist--where we are now and what is left to be done.
I do know this...we leave Tuesday for vacation, and I am leaving anything child, adoption, home, pet, etc. related behind me and focusing on RELAXING with my husband and enjoying our quite possibly last vacation ALONE before we have another little one! And might I add LAST most likely EVER because who in the world would want to watch 4 boys that young? I think if I ever talk my parents into it after we have 4, we will have to just hire a sitter to stay with them for the week!

On another note,  someone posted online about the trimesters of adoption like pregnancy. The first is the "paperchase"..what I am in now...the second is your "referral", which is when they have matched a child for you...the third is preparing to bring this child home, traveling to Ethiopia, preparing your home, etc... So far, I would say for me, the first has just been tedious. Gathering, printing, notorizing, ordering, taking tests, doing training...etc. all this is just work that HAS to be done to move forward. So I would say it is just kind of BLAH. But when you are done, yah...what a great feeling. The second stage, to me is going to be like the day I found out if my baby was a boy or girl...yet even better bc I will know what he looks like! The third, sounds very exciting, but very overwhelming, tiring, emotional, but happy...all wrapped into one. It will be the biggest trip of our lives... lifechanging. Anything that is unknown is scary. But that's why we pray and just have faith that it will all work out the way it is supposed to. Sometimes, the court in Ethiopia will approve a court date and you will have to leave in a few days notice! Kind of like going into labor, but not knowing when, and having to be prepared for it.
Anyway, just thought I would share...I am not anxious about that right now for some reason. I am focused more on just taking step by step and taking care of business, all the while taking care of my other 3 very important little people. We went to the Zoo Halloween event last night and today I ran in a relay race with my parents (Rock and Road)..I had an 8 mile trail run leg...it was tough! We made Halloween cookies this am and we are going over to our friends house tonight for a big bonfire. These boys are BUSY. I am too thankfully, but I AM getting tired. I think I need a nap. Thanks for reading:))

Oh Happy Day....

ok, so we were waiting on ONE last referral letter...our social worker worked so hard to get everything together so that we could send to immigration before we left..and she emailed me this morning and said, "Guess what! All the stars aligned and I am done and our director approved it this morning!" She said it is the 2nd fastest one she had ever completed as a social worker for adoption! So we were scheduled to meet for me to pick it up and ship that baby off! BUT, then a call...

"Amy, I checked the mail for the referral letter, and it's not there." Shoot! "But , if you can find someone else within a couple of hours and they can email over, I will notorize it." So, we got on the phone, John called a good friend who also had worked with him in the past, and thankfully he could do it! So, somehow it all worked out and I got it in my hands today at 5 PM! I went straight to FedEx, printed the form (my printer decided to act up today of all days) and double checked everything.

I am SOOO glad that is done. Wow, I know if you have gone through this process you know exactly what I mean, but let me tell you if you haven't...it really IS a lot of paperwork. A lot. And it has to be PERFECT..or they reject it....and send it back for revisions...and more time goes by....SO, can I get an AMEN!!:)

Now we can relax a bit, wait for another fingerprinting date, and prepare to send off our dossier! Another step...:)

2 BABIES? Huh?

We are DONE with paperwork for our homestudy, everything is in on our end and we are just hoping she will have it all typed up, binded, and ready to mail before we leave for Napa! I thought we were a few days ago, but then she needed one more form last mintute that needed to be notorized and all that from our CPA, who amazingly got in together in ONE day. He is the best! I would love to mail it all off on Monday with the immigration form (and a big hefty fee along with it..speaking of which, EVERY form you turn in for international adoption has a large fee...really does it take $920 to process a form? ) and just wait to get our fingerprinting date (yes, ANOTHER set of fingerprints) and then, an approval! So, now that we are officially in the wait and do nothing mode, I am brainstorming and just learning as much as I can and reading other's blogs all about their process...and they are all so unique and the timeline is so different I really can see no trends or even guess how ours is going to go...so...as my husband always says, "It is what it is!"

 I will be in Napa Valley all next week (YAHHHH, thank you mom and dad!) and this really is perfect timing for a vacation...and I am running in a half-marathon there as well (which I haven't trained at all for..oops)..and I can't wait to run this beautiful course nonetheless!
Isn't this the perfect quote for a race?.......

Gray told the ENT Dr. today that he is getting a baby brother AND a baby sister and so he needs to get stickers for them too after he passed his hearing test (AMEN for passing that by the way!) So of course the Dr. says,  "so I hear you are having 2 babies!" I was confused and then looked at Gray's little smirking face. He said, "Mama, you SAID we could pray for what we wanted to have, and I want 2!" The Dr. was looking at me like I was crazy...so yes I told him... our ENT knows the news before most of my friends! And I told Gray to pray a little more about it..and he will probably change his mind:)  I tricked you with that title of this post didn't I? hehe

Letter To My Son...

(SKIP this is you don't want to read anything sappy and just want the facts...just a warning:)

Hi there little one..I know it seems silly that I am writing to you and I haven't met you yet. It is therapeutic for me to let you in on my thoughts. I woke up this morning at 5 am in a panic...wondering what I am doing in this process...when will I wake up and forget all the things I now know about the needs of your country? The answer is I don't think I will. I don't think there will be another day to go about my day and not feel almost shameful to enjoy these luxuries while you and your sweet friends sit in need. How can I help you? Where do I start? How can I even begin to change your world? I believe that God will answer those questions at some point.

Everyone I have told about you tells me how you are going to be so blessed and how changed your life will be. You know what I think? I think YOU will change our lives! I think YOU will bless others beyond my comprehension.  I know it won't be easy for you or for daddy and I. Your brothers will need time to adjust and we will have to work hard to make a family unit. I trust that all things will work out in the end the way they are destined to be.

As you sit on the other side of the world, I pray safety over you, that you feel warm and content, that you feel love, and smiling faces when you are held.  God is going to change your life forever. I know your little mind can't comprehend such a big thought but my hope is you feel contentment in your heart, and anytime you feel helpless and cry with no answer, you will find peace because soon my sweet son, you will never be lonely again and your cry will never go unanswered. You will love people who love you back...something you have never known before.

You are destined for something very big, I can feel it in my bones. That's why I won't quit until I have you here to give you opportunity. Your daddy is so excited too, he is now talking about you all the time and your brothers are just waiting to teach you, love you, and play with you! Now, we just have to get you here!

Love,
Mommy

Talking with the boys...

A couple of nights ago I spoke to the kids about adoption. I have always talked to them about kids not always having a family in the US and in other countries and they have friends who are adopted so they knew about it on the surface.  We spoke aboout Africa in particular and just questioned them about the continent. I said, "How do you feel about maybe starting to pray for God to bring us a little one from Africa? You are such great big brothers and we have plenty of room for him, etc...How do you feel about that? At first Ty said he wanted a sister because he already has brothers but then decided on a brother..:) I asked if they knew what color skin they have and how different he would look but that they would still love him just like their brothers that do look like him. Gray said very proudly, I know what color skin they have in Africa! PURPLE! There is a girl at my school that has purple skin and she is beautiful!" So funny..that little guy, you never know what he will say. Ty asked if the little boy would feel shy at first and I said maybe...and he said "ok, we can start praying about it." Eli had no idea what was even being discussed! We asked him what he wanted, a brother or sister and he yelled "sissssta"! Then a minute later, "Bruuuthuuur" So, yes he is off in 2 year old land, with not a care in the world!

We started reading our "E is for Ethiopia" book as well. I asked before we started it, "Where is Ethiopia?" Gray, once again, very confidently, "It is in Florida!" so yeah, we have a little bit to learn about Ethiopia! I hope that after reading through it (and I sounded pretty pathetic trying to pronounce  some of the words in this book by the way...if that was on video, everyone would get a good laugh out of that one..BAD I say!)...I hope, that now they know it is in Africa! We ALL have lots to learn, but I learned today, that just by teaching the kids about it, I am learning just as much as they are!

Little "signs" from above....

Oh how I love this statement. It's how I felt while I was pregnant and it's how I feel now. I let a few close friends in on my news and of course they were ecstatic and supportive and over the moon excited for us. I have the best friends! I went in to TJ Maxx this morning to pass a little time before I met a few friends for lunch and I saw the most amazing plaque! 

It reads "The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step..." and has a picture of a little boys rugged shoes.  I was so touched! This was the the title of my very first post on this adoption blog! I like to think that was God looking down and saying, "yeah, I got this...here's you just a little sign just in case you don't know it!" In the middle of all the junk in there, I saw THIS in the back of a shelf with little boys shoes on it...very cool.  I cried in the middle of the store and bought one for my parents for their home too! I think I would have bought all of them if they had any more! I tried searching the internet to see if I could find a picture like it to post on here but I couldn't find one of a little boys shoes! So here is a pic taken with my phone of it...and it looks blurry for some odd reason?

If you are reading this, it means you are invested in this process and we are so blessed to have your support and prayers to bring our little guy home! Thank you!

Making plans...

My friend Deena, who is an amazing graphic designer (and probably THE most artistically gifted person I know!), is going to draw me a design for tshirts, etc. (kind of like our logo) for fundraising! She is also 1 month away from having her third baby so it is so sweet of her to do this for us! I have an idea of what I want as far as the sketch goes, but need to think of the perfect line to go with it, a verse or just a quote maybe?

So, we have to pay for the adoption, and yes it is very expensive....VERY. John and I have decided that we will pay for this personally and not do any fundraising for this. BUT, I do want to raise money for something else. And that something else is all of the other little babies and children that will be left behind when we leave the orphanage with our son. Our son's life will change, but what about all the other ones left there? My goal is to double what we need to pay for our adoption and give 100% to the orphanges in the area where God will choose our son. I will find out what they need the most, whether it is more food, cleaner water, blankets, education,  Bibles for the caretakers, etc. and that is where our resources will go. So selling these tshirts and everything else will help with that...

I look at it like this... my eyes have been opened, if I turn my head at this point, and only look to help MY child, that would be such a shame. I know we can help so many other children and that makes me even more excited about this process. 

Home Visit Done!

Yah! Our home visit is complete! All of our forms are in and our social worker is just waiting on a couple of referral letters to come in. Our social worker, Amanda, was very sweet and did video training as well as interviewed John and I for the USCIS forms. She met the kids and went through potential problems, attachment therapy etc...basically reconfirmed most of the things we knew through other training, but we did learn that Vanderbilt has an entire department dedicated to International Adoption with Specific Pediatricians that conduct physicals (which are strongly advised) when you bring your child home! We are so lucky to have such great resources here! These Doctors are trained to look for specific problems from children from different regions. There are also tons of resources and support groups for parents in the process and she strongly recommended therapy for us through the process and warned it's not a matter of IF there will be problems (such as slow movement --other countries sense of urgency isn't quite like ours here in the US) in the process but WHEN. I have read that everywhere! So it's very important for us to be very flexible and just try and go with the flow!
So now we are just preparing for the dossier and getting this together and just waiting on Amanda to compile our homestudy to send in with our application for immigration! I felt a huge relief today about this being done and spoke with her about letting more people in on our "secret" and expressed to her how I was so scared I would jinx it and she strongly suggested letting people in on it that will be supportive because it makes the biggest difference in having prayers and support in the process. So I can't wait to spread the news! I am so excited like you feel when you are pregnant--it's just a surreal feeling.  I just envision the day I get to see our child God created for us all the way over on the other side of the world! Pretty darn cool.

Homestudy Date!

So, exciting news...we got our homestudy date today for this Thursday, October 11 at 9 am! It is about half an hour of viewing our home and meeting the kids and then 1-2 hours of interviewing and educating John and I. This is the only one we have to do since we are combining the 2 together so that's exciting! So of course I will be in full organizing mode for the next 2 days, but problem is, the next 2 days are crazy busy! I am not too concerned with the actual homestudy (the social worker seems very sweet via email) but mostly just excited that this is the final step of the homestudy and we can next submit it to USCIS to get an approval to then send our dossier to Ethiopia.  So, inch by inch...we move a little closer to ending all the paperwork part.:)

Trust

Lately I have been reading (good and bad) through books, internet, blogs. etc. of the process and how children in Africa are treated. I knew this on the surface, but to read it is a lot to process.

Prayer:
"Lord, Please keep your arms around me during this trying time of approvals with this adoption. Please keep my heart in a steady place and not on edge. Please help me to focus on things that need my focus every day. I know we will love this child although I did not give birth to him...that has never been a concern of mine or John's, so thank you for that comfort...thank you for giving me a heart that loves so completely. Please help me with the struggle of wondering what if this child is not treated the way he needs to be in Ethiopia while we wait for him. I pray for the contentment that he is taken care of by You and that this is beyond my control. I know we have a way to go, and please keep a positive spirit within me during the process. I know now why you gave me a fighting spirit...I pray that I use this in Your name and make a difference the way you have called me to do. Please have mercy on our sweet baby...may he find peace and rest in his days ahead before we get to him. Thank you for choosing us to go through this life changing experience. I pray that I not only will make a difference in one child's life, but that you give me the knowledge, perserverence, and drive to make a change in many children's lives.  Please drive any insercurity out of me and keep my focus on what you have called of me. In Jesus Name, Amen"

Why Ethiopia? (watch this video!)

Below is a great video...I have watched many and YES I always tear up...or cry HARD! But, instead of just turning my head from it anad pretending it's not there, I want to absorb and learn all I can about the needs of these people and outside of adopting, strategize how I can do my best to serve when we are in Ethiopia. The first time, like I said would be a court visit, but I want to have a plan outside of that court visit what we want to accomplish when I step foot on African soil.




I saw this quote and absolutely love it..."Sometimes I would like to ask God why He allows poverty, famine and injustice in the world, when He could do something about it…but I’m afraid He may ask me the same question."

Medical Physicals Done!

We both had our physicals done today which included all the normal physical "stuff" , bloodwork, urinalysis, etc. The Dr. fills out a form provided by our agency and we have to get it notorized next Mon/Tues when the blood results are back. Very exciting to have that done and checked off the list. I think that Tuesday we will officially be done on our end and that makes me so happy! Hoping to get a date for our homestudy visit on Monday or Tuesday as well.  Then we send everything off to Immigration and we can work on getting this dossier done as well:)
John and I were just talking about the process and how lengthy and DETAILED it is! Which in the end is a good thing because it makes the Ethiopian adoption process that much safer for the children. The process, however, isn't my worry....

I ask that you please pray (waaaay in advance) for John and I (I am SO worried about this and I am trying not to be, but....not there yet)...once we have our child (via paper) and go to Ethiopia for court, we have to come home for sometimes months WITHOUT our child and then go back once he is officially approved on his end to go to court and bring him home. I know by this point I will just have to deal with it and be ok with it, but it just seems so sad to me...to meet him and then leave him.  They just changed this law recently..in the past it was ONE trip for 7 days. I really want to bring him home the first time! waaaaa waaaa waaa. Ok, enough whining about that:)

We got our first book in the mail today "E is for Ethiopia" to start reading to the kids! I want to start teaching them all about the culture and we can all learn about it together. The kids do not know about the adoption yet, as I don't think they could grasp the concept of time and Tyler especially is a little worrier and he would be really upset that his brother couldn't come home now! So further in the process when the time is right we will let them in on it...but I want to start educating them now and praying for not just their brother but ALL of the children who need homes and loving families.

We had our pictures taken today with Evin, a friend who we met 8 years ago in our newlywed class at The Peoples Church. She is an excellent photographer and took some very special pictures for us!

Eli was not at all happy about the process...as a matter of fact, he cried the entire session. Thankfully Evin wasn't bothered by it and just rolled with it...and thankfully John and I weren't phased either...this ain't our first rodeo with picture tantrums! This is an all consuming process right now...so I am posting pretty frequently but as time goes I will go ahead and warn, I am not the best blog updater! But I promise to do my best! :)

All you need is...

So we started a new church a little over a month ago and we are just absolutely amazed at how much we have learned so far in this very short time. We had been searching for so long for a church that was what we need at this phase of life. We searched for a few months, tried multiple churches, then ultimately went back to where we started. Not necessarily because we felt it was where we needed to be, but more we didn't find another church that was our new church home. Sunday after Sunday, we both felt we "needed to go", but was never really excited to go. One day I ran across something that said this church was opening a satellite church in Franklin. I had heard for years about it, but never went because it was in Nashville. 

So for weeks I prayed about it, and had a feeling that we HAD to go here. So the day finally came, we went to what I "thought" was the new church, turns out where I thought the church was located, was a different church! So at this point we are 20 minutes late, but I refused not to go! So, we googled it again, found that it met in a school, and off we went. It is a satellite  loaction which means the preacher is on a screen rather than actually there...something I was VERY leary about and hesitant. But I kept an open mind and told myself we are supposed to try this! AND...you guessed it. It was what we needed, wanted, prayed for, and more! I am so delighted we found this church and a huge bonus is my kids love it too! 

The topic for the last 4 weeks has been about reckless love. I thought I knew what love was but I was very wrong! It has taught me that loving recklessly is what God wants the most of us. Through this adoption process and backing up to many months ago when John and I made a the decision to seriously consider it sooner rather than later, isn't it ironic that God called it upon our hearts to adopt an orphan and THEN placed exactly what we needed in this process? Before we ever even knew we would try another church at this time? And the message is on LOVE? I personally think it is no coincidence whatsoever. I know He places what we need at the right time, in the right place, with the right people. I wanted to post this to remember that prayers are answered not exactly when we want them to be sometimes, but when they are supposed to be...which was decided long before we even knew we would adopt at this point in our lives.  

To our little man many miles away,

We pray for you every day...we already love you...we know you were created for our family...we will not give up until we have you here. Thank you for teaching us to love recklessly and have faith in God's timing.

Love,

Mommy and Daddy

Finishing Up the Homestudy...and a prayer;)

I am checking through everything and it seems we are ending the list of items for the Homestudy. It feels good to know we are almost finished with that portion. It is a lot of information! I worked on the boys room this weekend and it definitely feels odd to think that one of their old rooms (they are all together in one room!) a little one will be coming! I go from excited to scared, to anxious, back to excited pretty darn often. But one thing I feel the most is the confidence that we are making the right decision to adopt. I daydream all the time about what Ethiopia will be like when we visit, and what the child will look like, how old will he be...will he be scared to go home with us...and how in the heck will we make it all the way across the world with a baby or toddler in tow on an airplane? Emotional, exhausted, but I am sure the excitement will override everything.
I am trying to live by "ONE DAY AT A TIME"!  John told me a few mornings ago that he had a dream about our child. He said he was in an airport, and the little boy walked straight to him and put his head down on John's shoulder. So sweet! John has been very "Let's get this done, matter of fact, etc" about the whole process so when he gives me sentiments such as this one it means a lot. He is taking it all in and it's in his own way just like I have mine. Which is researching, reading, talking about it, reading some more...I can't believe people go through this process time after time! But, I suppose like pregnancy, you forget everything once you have your child.

Thank the Lord I have great support (when I can tell everyone) I would like to tell our news, but I also want to make sure that we have all of our dossier complete and sent to Ethiopia and accepted over there before we spread the news. I don't want to jinx anything! I can't believe I have kept my mouth shut thus far..that says a lot for me! I already love this child and pray for him every single day (multiple times), please do the same for him to be comforted wherever he may be right now and for God's protection. It is a rough world over there, and I hope he has a peace in his heart that we are coming for him.
I am going to, on occasion,  write out my prayer for the day. You don't have to read this, or anything else that is too intimate for your liking.  I think it will be a wonderful thing to document and look back upon one day to see the vulnerability of a prayer AND ultimately this is for our child so I want him to know how he was loved before he even knew it!

Prayer:
"Lord, please give me the patience to know that the perfect timing is YOUR timing. Please calm my anxious thoughts and to believe in the calling you have placed in my heart for this child. I pray for my husband to have a calmness as well and that any fear he may have that he doesn't share that he will come to you for guidance. I know we can not take this journey without your guidance, for you are the one who has directed this path from the very beginning. Most importantly, I pray for this child to know he is loved by You first and that his caregivers are kind and gentle with him.  I pray for peace inside of his body and in his spirit, that can only come from You.  I want him to know he is valued and is special, despite of his circumstances. I pray that if it is in Your plan, we become "Mommy and Daddy" to this little boy. Thank you for your grace and faithfulness, we are certainly not worthy. In Jesus Name, Amen"

Checklist

Checklist of the International Adoption Process

• Agency Application - DONE!
• Agency Acceptance and Sign Agreement Papers- DONE!
• Pay Homestudy Fees and Assigned a Social Worker - DONE

Homestudy Process...

1. Release of Information to Agency Forms- DONE!
2. Send Family Pictures- DONE!
3. Pre-Adoptive Homestudy Questionaire (list all past residences since the age of 18, why we wish to adopt, history with infertility, marriage, family, info about our home, attitudes regarding parenting, etc...)-DONE!
4. Photocopies of marriage and birth certificates-DONE!
5. Detailed Income and Expenses Form- DONE!
6. Certificate of Income and Property- DONE!
7. Income Tax Form-DONE!
8. Proof of Life Insurance- DONE!
9. Child Desired Form (explains what age, gender, etc. of child)- DONE!
10. Proposed Guardianship of Children (who is in your will to get your kids should something happen to both of you)-DONE!
11. "All About Me" autobiography of John and I both - DONE!
12. Health Examination Certificates ---Physicals -DONE!
13. Medical Forms for Children filled out by Pediatrician (Faxed and Waiting on to be faxed back)-DONE!
14. Certificate of Profession- (letter by employer stating salary, position, length of time employed, and to be notorized)-DONE!
15. Proof of Homeowner's Insurance-DONE!
16. Five Reference Letters notorized and returned (sent) DONE!
17. Criminal Background Checks (fingerprints)-DONE
18. Child Abuse Registry Check of all states resided in since 18 years of age (to be conducted by agency) -DONE!
19. Complete Taylor Johnson's Temperament Analysis online- Both John and I DONE!
20. International Adoption Required Parent Education online (10 hours)-  Both John and I DONE!
21. Order additional original birth certificates and marriage certificates to be used later in the process.
22. Actual home visit with social worker and home training session-DONE!

Next, she compiles everything she needs and we wait on the official completion of the homestudy. Will take her a couple of weeks to do this.  We send all of this information and a form called an I600A (Advanced Petition for an Orphan) to the USCIS to be approved and approval of this takes approx. 2 months.
Then, we complete something called a "Dossier".

The Dossier (pronounced "Dose E A") is basically the completed homestudy, the approved I600A, and most of the forms done in the homestudy and then MORE notorized, apposiled, authenticated forms. The good news is that our agency does all the authenticating, which is basically certifying the notory is legitimate, etc...it's just a whole lot of legal documents! 

After the dossier is completed, it is sent to Embassy in Ethiopia and if accepted we go on the wait list for our child! This is currently approx. 4-8 months timeframe for the wait time before you get a "referral", ie: our child. This for me will be the hard part...gathering info isn't too bad for me because I feel like I am doing something to move forward. Waiting on the other hand may be a different story! But, the good thing is...I have 3 boys that keep me very busy so I will have little time to sit and think about it too much during the day! Then after your referral, you accept, and then begin MORE waiting for your child to get physicals, forms, immigration approval, etc. and then we get the call for our court date to make our first trip to Ethiopia! Before hand we get our immunizations etc.. and prepare for meeting our baby! Once in Ethiopia, we visit the orphanage, go to court, and then we have to go home WITHOUT our little muchkin..:( Already so sad about this. Our child moves to a transition home (ran by our agency so it's a good quality of care compared to the orphanage). Then, WAIT more for the next court date, and usually 2-3 months later, go back and pick him up for good!

So this is a good, quick overview of the process, and yes it is LONG, and it is very unknown, and all the timeframes are just estimates so we just accept going in that we have ZERO control and just trust that God will provide the perfect timing for us!