Sunday, June 29, 2014
It's been awhile..
I've been updating my Facebook page and realized that I haven't updated my blog in a while. We have been crazy busy this summer since I got back from Uganda. We decided to get a Private investigation done and a DNA test, to rule out any other possible surprises that could give the US Embassy any reason to deny us. So right now, we are waiting on 3 things...the new court ruling, the PI investigative report, and the DNA results. On Friday, the lady conducting our test went to get results and they came back inconclusive. She said that they are doing the test again on Monday in hopes to have a definitive answer. She said the testing company told her that this happens on occasion and it is nothing to be concerned about. Also, it has been 9 days since they went to court, and the judge took 9 days last time to issue the written ruling, so we are hoping that we will get that ruling early this week. If we can get that this week, that is all that's needed to go to the US Embassy appt...so I could possibly be going at the end of the week to Uganda...that way I can get an appt with the US Embassy next Monday or Wednesday. They only do appts on these days. But I had rather have the DNA and investigative report done before I leave, where I am not waiting for that while in country. It's not necessary for the Embassy, but I feel like it will give us more leverage for an approved case. So please pray for the ruling, and results of PI come back early this week where I can fly over at the end of the week!
Just wanted to update everyone, I have had lots of people ask what we are waiting on and I know it's all confusing to keep up with! I thought I was going to be there by now..but the tests and rulings are taking longer than anticipated (of course!)
Thank you all for your love and prayers and about those thank you notes....um, yeah I kinda stink at those these days. So many have done so much for our family and just know although I am being oh so "Un-southern" and not writing a thank you on my monogrammed paper (ha!) that I am beyond grateful for your meals and notes, and gifts , and prayers for our family these past few months!!
And lastly, for everyone who has donated so far to Francis' college fund, a huge thank you! If you are not on Facebook, you can see the link below and read all about a fundraiser I started a few days ago. We have already reached 35% of our goal, $1040.00! If you haven't donated, please consider it. If anyone deserves this gift that keeps on giving it is Francis!
https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/vfy4/francis-onyinge-s-college-fund
Saturday, June 7, 2014
Let Him Take Care of the Mountains...
I received the following in my inbox this morning from Francis in Uganda. If this man can't go to school to become a teacher then it would be a giant waste of a brilliant mind!
"Weeping may endure for a night but joy cometh in the morning." Psalms 30:4-5.
" My dear Amy, many are the pains a mother goes through. Do not let any thing or any one take away what you did or what you are doing for Ellie here. Even one day with love is better than a thousand spent else where full of hate. Jesus is always perfecting our love for people, and I can assure you that it won't stop even in Heaven. Please don't look at the negative because when they are juxtaposed and contrasted with a second or a micro second of positive love and goodness extended to the least in our world, it pales in comparison. No, pale is too soft; it dies. Negativity dies in the presence of a stroke of positive. In this world you will meet a cocktail of people who do things that can break your heart or pinch your heart to the point of lifelessness, but do not give them that energy. You are too decent for that. You live above the emotional average. You are better. As a child of Jesus and His amazing follower, good, better and best and non starters. Excellent is where you start. The only condition for this in Christ is that we don't have to do this in our ability. Read Zachariah 4:6."t any thing or any one take away what you did or what you are doing for Ellie here. Even one day with love is better than a thousand spent else where fuJesus is always perfecting our love for people, and I can assure you that it won't stop even in Heaven. Please don't look at the negative because when they are juxtaposed and contrasted with a second or a micro second of positive love and goodness extended to the least in our world, it pales in comparison. No, pale is too soft; it dies. Negativity dies in the presence of a stroke of positive. In this world you will meet a cocktail of people who do things that can break your heart or pinch your heart to the point of lifelessness, but do not give them that energy. You are too decent for that. You live above the emotional average. You are better. As a child of Jesus and His amazing follower, good, better and best and non starters. Excellent is where you start. The only condition for this in Christ is that we don't have to do this in our ability. Read Zachariah 4:6."
I read Zachariah 4:6: "So he said to me, "This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel: 'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the LORD Almighty."
God had promised through the prophet Zechariah the obstacles to Zerubbabel's task of rebuilding the Temple would be removed. He said , "Nothing, not even a mighty mountain will stand in Zerubbabel's way; it will flatten out before him!" (4:7)
He can turn mighty mountains into roadways of redemption. On this "journey" to Eliana, the only way to overcome obstacles is by faith in God's power to move these mountains. It can not and will not be my willful personality, or my sheer willpower...that's simply not enough to get through any roadblocks we will face....He made the mountains and He will tear them down in His time. In Zech. 4:10 He says, "Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin."
Because of that promise...we will walk, step by step, and let Him take care of the mountains.
"Weeping may endure for a night but joy cometh in the morning." Psalms 30:4-5.
" My dear Amy, many are the pains a mother goes through. Do not let any thing or any one take away what you did or what you are doing for Ellie here. Even one day with love is better than a thousand spent else where full of hate. Jesus is always perfecting our love for people, and I can assure you that it won't stop even in Heaven. Please don't look at the negative because when they are juxtaposed and contrasted with a second or a micro second of positive love and goodness extended to the least in our world, it pales in comparison. No, pale is too soft; it dies. Negativity dies in the presence of a stroke of positive. In this world you will meet a cocktail of people who do things that can break your heart or pinch your heart to the point of lifelessness, but do not give them that energy. You are too decent for that. You live above the emotional average. You are better. As a child of Jesus and His amazing follower, good, better and best and non starters. Excellent is where you start. The only condition for this in Christ is that we don't have to do this in our ability. Read Zachariah 4:6."t any thing or any one take away what you did or what you are doing for Ellie here. Even one day with love is better than a thousand spent else where fuJesus is always perfecting our love for people, and I can assure you that it won't stop even in Heaven. Please don't look at the negative because when they are juxtaposed and contrasted with a second or a micro second of positive love and goodness extended to the least in our world, it pales in comparison. No, pale is too soft; it dies. Negativity dies in the presence of a stroke of positive. In this world you will meet a cocktail of people who do things that can break your heart or pinch your heart to the point of lifelessness, but do not give them that energy. You are too decent for that. You live above the emotional average. You are better. As a child of Jesus and His amazing follower, good, better and best and non starters. Excellent is where you start. The only condition for this in Christ is that we don't have to do this in our ability. Read Zachariah 4:6."
I read Zachariah 4:6: "So he said to me, "This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel: 'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the LORD Almighty."
God had promised through the prophet Zechariah the obstacles to Zerubbabel's task of rebuilding the Temple would be removed. He said , "Nothing, not even a mighty mountain will stand in Zerubbabel's way; it will flatten out before him!" (4:7)
He can turn mighty mountains into roadways of redemption. On this "journey" to Eliana, the only way to overcome obstacles is by faith in God's power to move these mountains. It can not and will not be my willful personality, or my sheer willpower...that's simply not enough to get through any roadblocks we will face....He made the mountains and He will tear them down in His time. In Zech. 4:10 He says, "Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin."
Because of that promise...we will walk, step by step, and let Him take care of the mountains.
Friday, June 6, 2014
She isn't mine...
I got home and couldn't keep my eyes awake past 6:30. All of my mind wanted to enjoy the comforts of home and to relish in my boys, but my heart couldn't even bear the thought of Eliana and her sister being on a dirt floor somewhere, hungry, and mistreated. I know what she was like when I found her and I know I can't let that happen again. So after talking to John , we finally figured out how to dial Uganda from an American number and we spoke directly with Alone (the director). He wouldn't answer the attorney or Francis all day. I told him he had 2 choices...to have the girls ready to pick up when they woke up (it was nighttime there) or I will have cops at his home to arrest him in 10 minutes. I asked which would it be? He agreed to sending them with Francis, only if we had the paperwork with him to prove our guardianship order. So Francis got the order from our attorney, Rebecca, and today is getting them.
I heard from Rebecca, and she said the judge said that she is willing to resign papers and meet with the living mother to sign an irrevocable release because she saw the difference in Eliana while with me and she deserves to be with me. So as long as the mother will sign, we can move forward. Thankfully, I know she will be taken care of, fed, and treated the way she should be at Arise and Shine. My friend told Sharon, the lady who runs it, thank you. She said, "I have to take care of these babies. Who else will?" People like this....how do they help others so abundantly when they have nothing themselves? They live in a place that is so hopeless and depressing and still..just continue to nurture others every single day. So inspiring and I just pray one day I have that much spirit, patience, and love and can help others as they have me.
I read this morning in my devotional,
I heard from Rebecca, and she said the judge said that she is willing to resign papers and meet with the living mother to sign an irrevocable release because she saw the difference in Eliana while with me and she deserves to be with me. So as long as the mother will sign, we can move forward. Thankfully, I know she will be taken care of, fed, and treated the way she should be at Arise and Shine. My friend told Sharon, the lady who runs it, thank you. She said, "I have to take care of these babies. Who else will?" People like this....how do they help others so abundantly when they have nothing themselves? They live in a place that is so hopeless and depressing and still..just continue to nurture others every single day. So inspiring and I just pray one day I have that much spirit, patience, and love and can help others as they have me.
I read this morning in my devotional,
“SEEK MY FACE, and you will find fulfillment of your deepest longings. My world is filled with beautiful things; they are meant to be pointers to Me, reminders of My abiding Presence. The earth still declares My Glory to those who have eyes that see and ears that hear.
You had a darkened mind before you sought Me wholeheartedly. I chose to pour My Light into you, so that you can be a beacon to others. There is no room for pride in this position. You part is to reflect My Glory. I am the Lord.”
Psalm 105:4 – Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.
Psalm 19:1-2 – The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they reveal knowledge.
Isaiah 60:2 – See, darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is over the peoples, but the Lord rises upon you and his glory appears over you.
I had a very hard time understanding this morning when I woke up (at 1 am our time by the way) the whys of this situation. Then I read this and I have peace. I want to have "eyes that see and ears that hear." I want to see the "beautiful things" that God has shown us so far. I got a slap across the face almost that He said "She is not yours. She never was. She never will be. She is MINE. You are mine. Your kids are mine. Your husband is mine." Why am I to feel like something was taken from me that was never mine to begin with? Pride? As I read this passage..it clearly says "There is no room for pride in this position." It is all for HIS glory. It's His story to tell. Not mine. And what a beautiful story she is.
 |
| First day we met Eliana |
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| Far left is last day |
Goodbye
The call came from Jen, Rebeccas mom at about 1 pm, as the girls were going down to nap. She said "I have bad news. There is a mom that is alive. They went to the fathers grave and found a mom living at the home the father was buried." I felt like the earth just collapsed. I panicked , didn't know who to call, or what to do. I called the US Embassy, got no good news, called my attorney, she was shocked and heartbroken and completely at a loss for words. She was angry of course. I called Jen back and we spoke for a while and agreed I had to come home, Francis would take Eliana to her medical, thank God I got her passport that morning already. That deserves a whole post in itself...that whole experience. Let's just say I have never been so thankful to be American.
So we called the orphanage director, and his brother came. But first, we had a huge meal. Pizza, pita bread, ice cream, chocolate cake, and any candy they wanted to eat. I brushed their teeth and mom packed their bags. They were so happy and full and played with bubbles and laughed and laughed. They had no idea what was going on.
We walked them down to the car to meet Francis and the orphanage director's brother, and they even got in and waved. They thought we were coming too. We always have... But we didn't. We cried and cried and went back upstairs to an empty room. It was horrible. The worst thing either of us has ever had to do. Then suddenly via Facebook I spoke with a sweet friend, Amanda Morgan, she is a FB adoption friend. We have never met but she has saved me numerous times in this process. She knew of a lady named Sharon who is willing to watch them at Arise and Shine in Jinja until we can sort anything out and see if there is a chance we can work this out. So I called Francis, to get the kids. BUT, Alone (the director) would not give them back. He said he is taking them. I screamed and demanded and told him I was having him arrested but to no avail. We drove to the airport in silence, through bumpy backroads and Francis prayed another amazing prayer and gave me his strong words of encouragement. As always. That man never fails to surprise me. He is undoubtably one of the most beautiful people I have ever met. I say beautiful not in the way I would have ever thought beautiful was before being in Uganda. Beautiful is not our bodies or in our possessions. True beauty is Francis. His heart for God. His light always shining in his actions and words. THAT is real beauty...he will be a lifelong friend. So we got on that plane that night and had no idea where the girls were or if they were ok. It was devastating.
The flights home were uneventful and long of course. We cried on and off and wondered why. Then we finally landed in Nashville.
John and my boys greeted me with lots of flowers and hugs and love and I couldn't quit crying as I hugged them. I, even now, can't quit crying. It's just so bitter sweet..being home, but having a piece of my heart still missing still on the other side of the world.
So we called the orphanage director, and his brother came. But first, we had a huge meal. Pizza, pita bread, ice cream, chocolate cake, and any candy they wanted to eat. I brushed their teeth and mom packed their bags. They were so happy and full and played with bubbles and laughed and laughed. They had no idea what was going on.
We walked them down to the car to meet Francis and the orphanage director's brother, and they even got in and waved. They thought we were coming too. We always have... But we didn't. We cried and cried and went back upstairs to an empty room. It was horrible. The worst thing either of us has ever had to do. Then suddenly via Facebook I spoke with a sweet friend, Amanda Morgan, she is a FB adoption friend. We have never met but she has saved me numerous times in this process. She knew of a lady named Sharon who is willing to watch them at Arise and Shine in Jinja until we can sort anything out and see if there is a chance we can work this out. So I called Francis, to get the kids. BUT, Alone (the director) would not give them back. He said he is taking them. I screamed and demanded and told him I was having him arrested but to no avail. We drove to the airport in silence, through bumpy backroads and Francis prayed another amazing prayer and gave me his strong words of encouragement. As always. That man never fails to surprise me. He is undoubtably one of the most beautiful people I have ever met. I say beautiful not in the way I would have ever thought beautiful was before being in Uganda. Beautiful is not our bodies or in our possessions. True beauty is Francis. His heart for God. His light always shining in his actions and words. THAT is real beauty...he will be a lifelong friend. So we got on that plane that night and had no idea where the girls were or if they were ok. It was devastating.
The flights home were uneventful and long of course. We cried on and off and wondered why. Then we finally landed in Nashville.
John and my boys greeted me with lots of flowers and hugs and love and I couldn't quit crying as I hugged them. I, even now, can't quit crying. It's just so bitter sweet..being home, but having a piece of my heart still missing still on the other side of the world.
Sunday, June 1, 2014
Weekends are SLOWWWWW
So the weekends here are very slow so we are trying to stay busy and stay outside and enjoy the beautiful weather. It is very pleasant here, cooler than home even. During rainy season (which we are in) , the weather is very nice because the rain keeps it cooler. We are getting in a good rhythm with naps and bedtime...they usually go down for a nap around 1:00 so thats a good time to blog and catch up on some computer stuff.
The first 2 weeks weren't too bad and now into the 3rd week, I am really missing my boys (all 4 of them). It is much worse on the weekend when we have no immediate goals to work on. Also, there are Ugandan holidays coming up...which means offices are closed. So medicals are only done on M, T and F and they are closed this Tuesday for Martyrs Day so I don't know if we can finish medicals like I anticipated this week? Also, the Embassy only does appts on Mon and Wed. and they are closed next Monday for National Hero's Day! So we couldn't get our Embassy appt on that day either. So if every star aligned and we got medicals done this week and then we could do our Embassy appt. next Wed. then we could pick up our visa on that Friday. But the chances of that happening are very slim:(
We will just have to wait and leave it all in God's Hands because it is nothing we can control!
Leaving the hotel here is hard..the pollution automatically gives me a bad headache and the smell of most of the people here is stifling. Body odor is a serious, major problem here! No one seems to notice or care though!
I was warned about this waiting period, and how hard it is, but I have to just soldier through it and keep as busy as we can. I miss TN so bad, I may kiss the ground when I return!
The girls are doing great. They seem to be having a big ole time here....but I suppose swimming and playing all day isn't so bad huh? They love the pool, so I took them down there all morning to play, then we went to lunch and waiting our usual hour for a cheese pizza:) They have been patient, and I am learning how girls operate now. Much different than boys for sure! Prayers for a good, productive Monday here...that we can pick up the passport and begin our Medicals this week. If we get that done...it's just one more stop until we are Tennessee bound! Of course I will keep everyone posted!!
The first 2 weeks weren't too bad and now into the 3rd week, I am really missing my boys (all 4 of them). It is much worse on the weekend when we have no immediate goals to work on. Also, there are Ugandan holidays coming up...which means offices are closed. So medicals are only done on M, T and F and they are closed this Tuesday for Martyrs Day so I don't know if we can finish medicals like I anticipated this week? Also, the Embassy only does appts on Mon and Wed. and they are closed next Monday for National Hero's Day! So we couldn't get our Embassy appt on that day either. So if every star aligned and we got medicals done this week and then we could do our Embassy appt. next Wed. then we could pick up our visa on that Friday. But the chances of that happening are very slim:(
We will just have to wait and leave it all in God's Hands because it is nothing we can control!
Leaving the hotel here is hard..the pollution automatically gives me a bad headache and the smell of most of the people here is stifling. Body odor is a serious, major problem here! No one seems to notice or care though!
I was warned about this waiting period, and how hard it is, but I have to just soldier through it and keep as busy as we can. I miss TN so bad, I may kiss the ground when I return!
The girls are doing great. They seem to be having a big ole time here....but I suppose swimming and playing all day isn't so bad huh? They love the pool, so I took them down there all morning to play, then we went to lunch and waiting our usual hour for a cheese pizza:) They have been patient, and I am learning how girls operate now. Much different than boys for sure! Prayers for a good, productive Monday here...that we can pick up the passport and begin our Medicals this week. If we get that done...it's just one more stop until we are Tennessee bound! Of course I will keep everyone posted!!
Thursday, May 29, 2014
We got a ruling..and what comes next!
So, we got a call around 5:30 pm today, we got a positive ruling from court! Our attorney hopes we get our written one tomorrow but I am not expecting that of course. Monday/Tuesday would be much more reasonable to expect. I am listing the steps in country for my sweet friends who are following us each step of the way! I will try my best to explain and to not be too confusing..
COURT! (May 20, 2014)Verbal Ruling (May 29, 2014)Written Ruling (May 30, 2014)Apply for Passport (May 30, 2014)Pick up passport (June 4, 2014)Go for IOM Medical Exam (June 20, 2014)Follow up for IOM Medical Exam Results (June 23, 2014)Court Rehearing for Birthmother and relatives (June 20, 2014)- New Written Ruling
- DNA Results In
- Private Investigation Complete
- Document Review at US Embassy
- US Embassy Exit Visa Appointment
- Pick up Visa
GO HOME!!!!!!!!
So we get our written ruling, and then after we get, we can go directly to the passport office to apply for her passport. This on average, takes around 4 days with our attorney, up to a week. Like I said, this is an average, and not to be confused with anything absolute. If I have learned anything it is not to expect ANYTHING! Taking it one day at a time is crucial for not having major meltdowns, which I have had and will certainly have again.
Then as soon as we get our passport, we can go and get her medical exam, which is a very basic physical and other basic tests, which we already have, but the Embassy needs to be able to travel home. After we go back to get our TB skin test read (in 3 days), we can schedule our Embassy paper review and appt..which is only done on 2 days a week. Then, after the appt, we can pick up our visa in 2 days to come home!
So as you can see, we are at the mercy of the timing of these events to take place in a fashion that allows us to move through quickly or not.
I do not know a date we will be home, I have no clue what obstacles we will cross, or if there will be any big ones. We just literally have to go day by day, step by step, until we reach the finish line!!
One thing is for sure, this sweet little girl, who I am learning is more like me than I ever imagined, will be very worth it!
Thank you all again for every single prayer during this time!!
Waiting on a ruling...and another little one with us for a while..
So it's the final day of waiting for our ruling..which was promised today. I wish it would just come already! I've done pretty good with the waiting so far. Much better than I thought I would. We went to Jinja yesterday for the day and it was so pretty! We took a boat ride down to the source of the Nile and it was so beautiful. We saw monkeys and birds and lizards and all sorts of interesting things! We took about 200 pics...only to realize at the end...there was no memory card in there! Uh!
Oh well, I have my memories I suppose. Then we went and ate at "Surgios". I had heard so many great things about the pizza there and they were right. Next to Francis' home cooked meal, this was my favorite meal yet. Then we went down to the town square to shop the local vendors. We definitely will be going back to Jinja to relax some more.
Ellie is doing great with us. Very attached to me, but now is able to go to Meme without crying and can tell me "bye" and know that I will be back. She is still sleeping so well and responding very well to our language now. She knows many basic words, she doesn't say them, but I know she understands me well for the most part. She catches on so fast! She knows potty and sit and NO (haha) and today my new one for her is "No whining". She tends to whine when she wants something bc she doesn't have the language to tell me but we are working on improving that!
Our biggest issue is food. The necessary evil these days. She screams at the store bc she can't have to things we put in the basket, even though we just ate...because she doesn't think she will get them later. She cries over wanting food and not having enough food and then on top of all of that, she is PICKY now. What you ask? The child 2 weeks ago who was wasting away to nothing? Yes, thats her! ha So I am working on really being strict at meals to help her along. That was something I was prepared for, but still as frustrating as it is for both of us, I know she has a great reason to be this way...when all she has known up until this point is a meal a day and feeling hungry. Her taste buds are not accustomed to anything other than bland foods. So time will have to pass, and many tears will have to be shed, to ultimately click in her brain that YOU WILL GET FOOD. And it will be enough!
I wanted to put the bad and the good bc I don't ever want anyone to read this blog and think "Oh, its so amazing, she is perfect, and they lived happily ever after!" Just like my bio kids, there are challenges, just different ones. But she really is such a sweet little girl. She smiles a lot now and you can just look at her and know how happy she is. That makes me super happy. She has come so very far!
Her sister Rebeccah will begin staying with us after tonight for a week or 2. Her mom went to the Embassy appt yesterday and was told her case was being investigated and that it would take 1-2 weeks and her mom has to go home to go back to work. So I offered to watch Rebecca until she got her visa. If not, she would have to go back to live in Jinja, and believe me, I could not watch that happen. It tears my heart to even imagine her going back there to live like that. So I went from 3 boys to 2 girls while here...i am going to learn really quickly what life is like with girls! Rebecca is a sweet little thing, so we will be just fine.
Next time I post, we will hopefully have a ruling! Fingers crossed!
Oh well, I have my memories I suppose. Then we went and ate at "Surgios". I had heard so many great things about the pizza there and they were right. Next to Francis' home cooked meal, this was my favorite meal yet. Then we went down to the town square to shop the local vendors. We definitely will be going back to Jinja to relax some more.
Ellie is doing great with us. Very attached to me, but now is able to go to Meme without crying and can tell me "bye" and know that I will be back. She is still sleeping so well and responding very well to our language now. She knows many basic words, she doesn't say them, but I know she understands me well for the most part. She catches on so fast! She knows potty and sit and NO (haha) and today my new one for her is "No whining". She tends to whine when she wants something bc she doesn't have the language to tell me but we are working on improving that!
Our biggest issue is food. The necessary evil these days. She screams at the store bc she can't have to things we put in the basket, even though we just ate...because she doesn't think she will get them later. She cries over wanting food and not having enough food and then on top of all of that, she is PICKY now. What you ask? The child 2 weeks ago who was wasting away to nothing? Yes, thats her! ha So I am working on really being strict at meals to help her along. That was something I was prepared for, but still as frustrating as it is for both of us, I know she has a great reason to be this way...when all she has known up until this point is a meal a day and feeling hungry. Her taste buds are not accustomed to anything other than bland foods. So time will have to pass, and many tears will have to be shed, to ultimately click in her brain that YOU WILL GET FOOD. And it will be enough!
I wanted to put the bad and the good bc I don't ever want anyone to read this blog and think "Oh, its so amazing, she is perfect, and they lived happily ever after!" Just like my bio kids, there are challenges, just different ones. But she really is such a sweet little girl. She smiles a lot now and you can just look at her and know how happy she is. That makes me super happy. She has come so very far!
Her sister Rebeccah will begin staying with us after tonight for a week or 2. Her mom went to the Embassy appt yesterday and was told her case was being investigated and that it would take 1-2 weeks and her mom has to go home to go back to work. So I offered to watch Rebecca until she got her visa. If not, she would have to go back to live in Jinja, and believe me, I could not watch that happen. It tears my heart to even imagine her going back there to live like that. So I went from 3 boys to 2 girls while here...i am going to learn really quickly what life is like with girls! Rebecca is a sweet little thing, so we will be just fine.
Next time I post, we will hopefully have a ruling! Fingers crossed!
Monday, May 26, 2014
Who is Ellie?
Ellie is a little girl, who at first glance, we thought... was a weak, timid, scared, nervous, shy little girl. Now we know otherwise...the real Eliana. The real Eliana... dances every time she hears music, waves at passing strangers on the street, pitches hissy fits when you tell her No, loves bananas and muffins and despises most other fruits and veggies...she loves to sing "Hallelujah, Bodo Boko ( which means God is Good...I'm just spelling it how it sounds so thats not correct Lusoga by the way) Amen!"...she loves to play chase, look at herself in the mirror and talk, and absolutely adores shoes. She is potty trained, and independent, and smart as a whip. She looks like a 1 year old, but has the agility and smarts of a child twice her age. She pushes limits and blows kisses and loves to sing to herself and play with dolls.
She is nothing we thought she was, yet everything we could hope she would, or could be. She is no longer a statistic, an orphan, or a poor, voiceless child. She is our daughter. She was chosen, loved, and adopted by His grace. Every single ounce of glory belongs to God, who allowed this divine intervention. We are just the ones in between that said yes.
She is nothing we thought she was, yet everything we could hope she would, or could be. She is no longer a statistic, an orphan, or a poor, voiceless child. She is our daughter. She was chosen, loved, and adopted by His grace. Every single ounce of glory belongs to God, who allowed this divine intervention. We are just the ones in between that said yes.
We BOTH cry.
As we lay here tonight. Both of us, a little lonely, wishing to feel better, for everything to feel just a little bit more like home. A familiar sound, touch, taste, or voice. Both of us lay in silence and feel empty. This sweet little girl, who I feel completely and utterly my daughter from day one, feels like a stranger to me when I hear my youngest boy on the phone saying, "Mommy, are you coming soon?" I will...baby, I will soon. I don't know the date or how many weeks but I will. The feeling of not knowing takes my breath away.
I am the one who can't go away on vacation for more than 5 days without coming home early. I know I'm not the first to do this, to adopt in a foreign country, to be away from 3 little boys for many weeks, but tonight, it hurts to even fathom being here another day. At the same time, I know, the beautiful, small, precious little life next to me, feels even more alone..and lonely...and afraid. And she doesn't know the familiar will be back. As a matter of fact, it never will be. No matter how bad her past, she remembers it as HOME. It was her comfort, her stability, her place. And no matter what she grieves, I will never understand that. I don't know what it means to truly need, or to see my brothers and sisters cry from hunger or lack of care. I have no idea what it means to truly suffer. It breaks my heart to pieces to think I could grieve for what I want and to see what a I can't give all at the same time.
Tonight I pray to have a renewed sense of purpose. To be comfortable with being uncomfortable.
No matter how much I miss home, this angel laying on my chest as I breathe, is worth any moment of heartache.
My first and only daughter...we will fight this all together. And we will win.
I am the one who can't go away on vacation for more than 5 days without coming home early. I know I'm not the first to do this, to adopt in a foreign country, to be away from 3 little boys for many weeks, but tonight, it hurts to even fathom being here another day. At the same time, I know, the beautiful, small, precious little life next to me, feels even more alone..and lonely...and afraid. And she doesn't know the familiar will be back. As a matter of fact, it never will be. No matter how bad her past, she remembers it as HOME. It was her comfort, her stability, her place. And no matter what she grieves, I will never understand that. I don't know what it means to truly need, or to see my brothers and sisters cry from hunger or lack of care. I have no idea what it means to truly suffer. It breaks my heart to pieces to think I could grieve for what I want and to see what a I can't give all at the same time.
Tonight I pray to have a renewed sense of purpose. To be comfortable with being uncomfortable.
No matter how much I miss home, this angel laying on my chest as I breathe, is worth any moment of heartache.
My first and only daughter...we will fight this all together. And we will win.
Church Day!
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| Ellie and I in our dresses we got at the African market yesterday |
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| Meme and Ellie's first picture together:) |
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| Ellie trying to balance a water bottle on her head like many women do here.. |
We got ready and had breakfast this morning and then Francis picked us up at noon to go to his house to meet his kids and have lunch with Harriet and some neighbors...best meal we have eaten BY FAR! It was so delicious!
After lunch Francis asked us to lead a lesson for the kids in the neighborhood that meet at his house on Saturdays. His daughter prayed a beautiful prayer...I have never heard an 8 year old pray like that! He said Wednesdays the adults meet at his house for Bible study as well. We chose the story of Noah and the Ark, Francis played the piano while we sang some songs and then we played "Simon Says" which they loved. They had never heard of it before.
A little girl we met there whose mother helps out sometimes (she's a neighbor) was there with her little baby sister and it was so amazing to see her take care of that baby like it was her own! She also did all of our dishes by hand after we ate lunch. She is SEVEN! Never complained, never quit smiling. These kids just amaze me. Every single day.
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| Wototo Church in Kampala |
Church was unlike anything we would have expected in Africa. Very contemporary. It lasts 2 hours. They have 2 services on Saturday night and 5 services on Sunday! They all have 5,000 people that attend each sermon! They taught on what it means to have a biblical family and marriage. Great, full day! Our wifi is sketchy so my blogs some days are short and sweet:)
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