We are thrilled to announce we are having a baby...or maybe a toddler! No, I am not pregnant, we are adopting a child from Ethiopia! This blog will be a place I update the progress of this LONG process, give helpful information about the ins and outs of international adoption, and share all of the joys and challenges we face along the way. Hopefully at the end of this journey we can bound this into a book and share with our future child one day.
I am sure everyone is wondering how, when, what, where....so I will post all of my journaling that I have been keeping up until now as I can...For now, I will let you know how we got to this place because I know as people learn of the news, they will have many questions and this will be a perfect place to answer questions along the way.
John and I have always said since we were married that we see ourselves adopting in the future. Well, 3 babies later and those plans kind of got put on the back burner as there literally hasn't been a minute that we even thought about it. A few months ago, we spoke about it again, and we both agreed that life is so chaotic and busy with our 3 boys, BUT we both agreed that we could see ourselves with another......wait for it!.......BOY! What?? I know crazy huh? I expressed my fears that I don't feel like I am an adequate mother now half the time, much less to ANOTHER child. John said something I will never forget. He said, first of all, you are a great mother and secondly, what do you think an orphan needs? Answer: A mommy and daddy that love them, shelter, clean water, and food. Those are things that he doesn't have in Ethiopia...anything else is just cake.
Wow, I had never thought of it like that. I thought of all the reasons why NOT. I am too busy, it is too expensive, it would take away from my other children, I am not a good enough mother, I am not a good enough Christian, I don't know if my sanity could take four children....need I continue? The list is ongoing. Do you notice anything about all of these reasons? Do you notice that they are all about ME? I've focused on what is comfortable for ME, what's easier for ME. So I went to the Bible and this is what I found.
"He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings.
His faithful promises are your armor and protection.
There is absolutely nothing to fear about tomorrow; for God is already there."
Psalm 91:4
"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
James 1:27
James 1:27
"Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand."
Isaiah 41:10
I had never in my life experienced a feeling that absolutely paralyzed me with fear, yet seemed I had no other choice but to pursue it. I prayed, I got so many signs that this was happening it was almost scary! I was sitting watching a commercial one day about a woman rubbing her children with what she thought was sunscreen on the beach..they run off, she looks down and realizes it was Mayo from her cooler rather than sunscreen. Her husband looks at her, shakes his head and she does the same. Afterwards these words were spoken, "You don't have to be the perfect mom, there are kids that just need a mom..." --a commercial on adoption. The words cut me like a knife. This was the main source of anxiety when thinking of pursuing this. This was one of many different little signs day in and day out that we need to pursue this. I AM scared...I have what ifs that wake me up in the middle of the night! Having 4 children seems daunting to say the least..and we are just getting some freedom in our lives now that our youngest is inching towards 3. But still the thought of it kept nagging me even though I tried to ignore it.
John came home from work and I asked him again if he seriously thought we would adopt and his answer was yes. By this time I had researched the timeframe and realized for international adoption it was up to 3 years in most cases. I asked him if he knew that and of course he didn't...so I said "When? " and then explained everything I had researched. I told him that it hurt my stomach to even talk about it, how scared I was, but how strongly I felt about it. So we both thought on it and a few days later, he said, "Let's Do it." Not in the emotional way I would have wanted him to, but in a "Let's get this done" kind of way. Anyone who knows John knows this is SO him. We both thought Haiti, because we have just always said that since the huge earthquake. But each country has specifics for adoptive parents and Haiti happened to have a marriage clause stating we had to be married for 10 years. So I researched the most poverty striken countries and of course Africa was at the top.
I researched and found our agency and they just happened to have new orphanages in Ethiopia so it just seemed to be the right fit! So we applied and were accepted. The big commitment came when it was time to do our homestudy because it is a huge financial leap and basically says, "We are doing this!" We both felt it was right, paid, was assigned our social worker, and we are currently gathering documents for our home study. It is a long list of to-dos and the most important step towards the process. We get fingerprinted the last week of September and both get our physical exams the first week in October. I will also post a timeline where you can see the process and follow our checks off the list!
Please pray for our family, our patience, most importantly OUR CHILD! The process for us is 12-24 months. It could be 36 months too! That's the thing about adoption, you just wait and be PATIENT! We have applied to Ethiopia for a little boy, aged newborn to 2. (Most of the time babies in Ethiopia are 1 year before they are home, even if referred earlier because of the long adoption process.) We truly believe God has already picked our child and he is waiting for us as much as we are waiting for him. He may be in his birth mother's belly right now or he may be in an orphanage, only God knows where he is.... but we can't wait for him to be with us! We will travel to Ethiopia twice, as the final adoption happens there. So this is the short version but I will have much more to come. Thank you for supporting us and for all of your love!
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