Finishing Up the Homestudy...and a prayer;)

I am checking through everything and it seems we are ending the list of items for the Homestudy. It feels good to know we are almost finished with that portion. It is a lot of information! I worked on the boys room this weekend and it definitely feels odd to think that one of their old rooms (they are all together in one room!) a little one will be coming! I go from excited to scared, to anxious, back to excited pretty darn often. But one thing I feel the most is the confidence that we are making the right decision to adopt. I daydream all the time about what Ethiopia will be like when we visit, and what the child will look like, how old will he be...will he be scared to go home with us...and how in the heck will we make it all the way across the world with a baby or toddler in tow on an airplane? Emotional, exhausted, but I am sure the excitement will override everything.
I am trying to live by "ONE DAY AT A TIME"!  John told me a few mornings ago that he had a dream about our child. He said he was in an airport, and the little boy walked straight to him and put his head down on John's shoulder. So sweet! John has been very "Let's get this done, matter of fact, etc" about the whole process so when he gives me sentiments such as this one it means a lot. He is taking it all in and it's in his own way just like I have mine. Which is researching, reading, talking about it, reading some more...I can't believe people go through this process time after time! But, I suppose like pregnancy, you forget everything once you have your child.

Thank the Lord I have great support (when I can tell everyone) I would like to tell our news, but I also want to make sure that we have all of our dossier complete and sent to Ethiopia and accepted over there before we spread the news. I don't want to jinx anything! I can't believe I have kept my mouth shut thus far..that says a lot for me! I already love this child and pray for him every single day (multiple times), please do the same for him to be comforted wherever he may be right now and for God's protection. It is a rough world over there, and I hope he has a peace in his heart that we are coming for him.
I am going to, on occasion,  write out my prayer for the day. You don't have to read this, or anything else that is too intimate for your liking.  I think it will be a wonderful thing to document and look back upon one day to see the vulnerability of a prayer AND ultimately this is for our child so I want him to know how he was loved before he even knew it!

Prayer:
"Lord, please give me the patience to know that the perfect timing is YOUR timing. Please calm my anxious thoughts and to believe in the calling you have placed in my heart for this child. I pray for my husband to have a calmness as well and that any fear he may have that he doesn't share that he will come to you for guidance. I know we can not take this journey without your guidance, for you are the one who has directed this path from the very beginning. Most importantly, I pray for this child to know he is loved by You first and that his caregivers are kind and gentle with him.  I pray for peace inside of his body and in his spirit, that can only come from You.  I want him to know he is valued and is special, despite of his circumstances. I pray that if it is in Your plan, we become "Mommy and Daddy" to this little boy. Thank you for your grace and faithfulness, we are certainly not worthy. In Jesus Name, Amen"