Dossier Checklist

1. Cover Letter 
2. Family Assessment Report (submitted by agency)
3. Birth Certificates for each spouse
4. Background checks
5. Employment Letters (different forms than those of the homestudy)
6. Bank Letter
7. Medical Health Verification
8. Statement of Intent
9. Reference Letters (3)
10. Obligation of Adoption agency
11. Passport Photos - 4 (2 for each spouse)
12. Copy of current passport photos (1 for each spouse)
13. Power of Attorney (for when in Ethiopia)

I am excited as this list is actually less daunting than the Homestudy list AND our agency is great because they do all the necessary "seals". 

I had to order my marriage certificate from Kauai, Hawaii a few weeks ago, got them in the mail..but then had to send to a different place in Hawaii to get all the necessary stamps for the dossier. So I got that mailed off back to Hawaii today and also saw that my I600A form did in fact reach it's destination at 9:32 AM via FedEx! 

So, Napa Valley here we come!!! We leave in 12 hours and I haven't packed yet!  

It's Dossier Time People!

A dossier, is a huge amount of paperwork, certified, notorized, apposilled documents. Pictures (2x2 passport ones to be exact), pictures of your home, family, etc..to be sent to Ethiopia, along with your approved homestudy, and another big fat fee. You work on the dossier while you wait on the I600A approval, and it will be in with that packet of info as well. On a side note, it's not pronounced, "Dose-yer" like you would think...it is pronounced ," Doss-E-A"...most likely top 10 most mispronounced word ever. I still mess it up 50% of the time.

We got our entire dossier book and wanted to print it all out AND....of course my printer wouldn't work...that printer has been THE biggest pain of this process thus far! lol ok, exaggerating, but it is really about to get thrown into the front yard..so if you see it ..you know what happened.

Anyway, I am looking over our what is needed for our dossier and thankfully most of it is things we have already had for our homestudy. But I would love to get it done asap where I don't have to think about it sitting there and waiting for me to get it done! I will set up another Checklist post that will continue from the Homestudy Checklist--where we are now and what is left to be done.
I do know this...we leave Tuesday for vacation, and I am leaving anything child, adoption, home, pet, etc. related behind me and focusing on RELAXING with my husband and enjoying our quite possibly last vacation ALONE before we have another little one! And might I add LAST most likely EVER because who in the world would want to watch 4 boys that young? I think if I ever talk my parents into it after we have 4, we will have to just hire a sitter to stay with them for the week!

On another note,  someone posted online about the trimesters of adoption like pregnancy. The first is the "paperchase"..what I am in now...the second is your "referral", which is when they have matched a child for you...the third is preparing to bring this child home, traveling to Ethiopia, preparing your home, etc... So far, I would say for me, the first has just been tedious. Gathering, printing, notorizing, ordering, taking tests, doing training...etc. all this is just work that HAS to be done to move forward. So I would say it is just kind of BLAH. But when you are done, yah...what a great feeling. The second stage, to me is going to be like the day I found out if my baby was a boy or girl...yet even better bc I will know what he looks like! The third, sounds very exciting, but very overwhelming, tiring, emotional, but happy...all wrapped into one. It will be the biggest trip of our lives... lifechanging. Anything that is unknown is scary. But that's why we pray and just have faith that it will all work out the way it is supposed to. Sometimes, the court in Ethiopia will approve a court date and you will have to leave in a few days notice! Kind of like going into labor, but not knowing when, and having to be prepared for it.
Anyway, just thought I would share...I am not anxious about that right now for some reason. I am focused more on just taking step by step and taking care of business, all the while taking care of my other 3 very important little people. We went to the Zoo Halloween event last night and today I ran in a relay race with my parents (Rock and Road)..I had an 8 mile trail run leg...it was tough! We made Halloween cookies this am and we are going over to our friends house tonight for a big bonfire. These boys are BUSY. I am too thankfully, but I AM getting tired. I think I need a nap. Thanks for reading:))

Oh Happy Day....

ok, so we were waiting on ONE last referral letter...our social worker worked so hard to get everything together so that we could send to immigration before we left..and she emailed me this morning and said, "Guess what! All the stars aligned and I am done and our director approved it this morning!" She said it is the 2nd fastest one she had ever completed as a social worker for adoption! So we were scheduled to meet for me to pick it up and ship that baby off! BUT, then a call...

"Amy, I checked the mail for the referral letter, and it's not there." Shoot! "But , if you can find someone else within a couple of hours and they can email over, I will notorize it." So, we got on the phone, John called a good friend who also had worked with him in the past, and thankfully he could do it! So, somehow it all worked out and I got it in my hands today at 5 PM! I went straight to FedEx, printed the form (my printer decided to act up today of all days) and double checked everything.

I am SOOO glad that is done. Wow, I know if you have gone through this process you know exactly what I mean, but let me tell you if you haven't...it really IS a lot of paperwork. A lot. And it has to be PERFECT..or they reject it....and send it back for revisions...and more time goes by....SO, can I get an AMEN!!:)

Now we can relax a bit, wait for another fingerprinting date, and prepare to send off our dossier! Another step...:)

2 BABIES? Huh?

We are DONE with paperwork for our homestudy, everything is in on our end and we are just hoping she will have it all typed up, binded, and ready to mail before we leave for Napa! I thought we were a few days ago, but then she needed one more form last mintute that needed to be notorized and all that from our CPA, who amazingly got in together in ONE day. He is the best! I would love to mail it all off on Monday with the immigration form (and a big hefty fee along with it..speaking of which, EVERY form you turn in for international adoption has a large fee...really does it take $920 to process a form? ) and just wait to get our fingerprinting date (yes, ANOTHER set of fingerprints) and then, an approval! So, now that we are officially in the wait and do nothing mode, I am brainstorming and just learning as much as I can and reading other's blogs all about their process...and they are all so unique and the timeline is so different I really can see no trends or even guess how ours is going to go...so...as my husband always says, "It is what it is!"

 I will be in Napa Valley all next week (YAHHHH, thank you mom and dad!) and this really is perfect timing for a vacation...and I am running in a half-marathon there as well (which I haven't trained at all for..oops)..and I can't wait to run this beautiful course nonetheless!
Isn't this the perfect quote for a race?.......

Gray told the ENT Dr. today that he is getting a baby brother AND a baby sister and so he needs to get stickers for them too after he passed his hearing test (AMEN for passing that by the way!) So of course the Dr. says,  "so I hear you are having 2 babies!" I was confused and then looked at Gray's little smirking face. He said, "Mama, you SAID we could pray for what we wanted to have, and I want 2!" The Dr. was looking at me like I was crazy...so yes I told him... our ENT knows the news before most of my friends! And I told Gray to pray a little more about it..and he will probably change his mind:)  I tricked you with that title of this post didn't I? hehe

Letter To My Son...

(SKIP this is you don't want to read anything sappy and just want the facts...just a warning:)

Hi there little one..I know it seems silly that I am writing to you and I haven't met you yet. It is therapeutic for me to let you in on my thoughts. I woke up this morning at 5 am in a panic...wondering what I am doing in this process...when will I wake up and forget all the things I now know about the needs of your country? The answer is I don't think I will. I don't think there will be another day to go about my day and not feel almost shameful to enjoy these luxuries while you and your sweet friends sit in need. How can I help you? Where do I start? How can I even begin to change your world? I believe that God will answer those questions at some point.

Everyone I have told about you tells me how you are going to be so blessed and how changed your life will be. You know what I think? I think YOU will change our lives! I think YOU will bless others beyond my comprehension.  I know it won't be easy for you or for daddy and I. Your brothers will need time to adjust and we will have to work hard to make a family unit. I trust that all things will work out in the end the way they are destined to be.

As you sit on the other side of the world, I pray safety over you, that you feel warm and content, that you feel love, and smiling faces when you are held.  God is going to change your life forever. I know your little mind can't comprehend such a big thought but my hope is you feel contentment in your heart, and anytime you feel helpless and cry with no answer, you will find peace because soon my sweet son, you will never be lonely again and your cry will never go unanswered. You will love people who love you back...something you have never known before.

You are destined for something very big, I can feel it in my bones. That's why I won't quit until I have you here to give you opportunity. Your daddy is so excited too, he is now talking about you all the time and your brothers are just waiting to teach you, love you, and play with you! Now, we just have to get you here!

Love,
Mommy

Talking with the boys...

A couple of nights ago I spoke to the kids about adoption. I have always talked to them about kids not always having a family in the US and in other countries and they have friends who are adopted so they knew about it on the surface.  We spoke aboout Africa in particular and just questioned them about the continent. I said, "How do you feel about maybe starting to pray for God to bring us a little one from Africa? You are such great big brothers and we have plenty of room for him, etc...How do you feel about that? At first Ty said he wanted a sister because he already has brothers but then decided on a brother..:) I asked if they knew what color skin they have and how different he would look but that they would still love him just like their brothers that do look like him. Gray said very proudly, I know what color skin they have in Africa! PURPLE! There is a girl at my school that has purple skin and she is beautiful!" So funny..that little guy, you never know what he will say. Ty asked if the little boy would feel shy at first and I said maybe...and he said "ok, we can start praying about it." Eli had no idea what was even being discussed! We asked him what he wanted, a brother or sister and he yelled "sissssta"! Then a minute later, "Bruuuthuuur" So, yes he is off in 2 year old land, with not a care in the world!

We started reading our "E is for Ethiopia" book as well. I asked before we started it, "Where is Ethiopia?" Gray, once again, very confidently, "It is in Florida!" so yeah, we have a little bit to learn about Ethiopia! I hope that after reading through it (and I sounded pretty pathetic trying to pronounce  some of the words in this book by the way...if that was on video, everyone would get a good laugh out of that one..BAD I say!)...I hope, that now they know it is in Africa! We ALL have lots to learn, but I learned today, that just by teaching the kids about it, I am learning just as much as they are!

Little "signs" from above....

Oh how I love this statement. It's how I felt while I was pregnant and it's how I feel now. I let a few close friends in on my news and of course they were ecstatic and supportive and over the moon excited for us. I have the best friends! I went in to TJ Maxx this morning to pass a little time before I met a few friends for lunch and I saw the most amazing plaque! 

It reads "The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step..." and has a picture of a little boys rugged shoes.  I was so touched! This was the the title of my very first post on this adoption blog! I like to think that was God looking down and saying, "yeah, I got this...here's you just a little sign just in case you don't know it!" In the middle of all the junk in there, I saw THIS in the back of a shelf with little boys shoes on it...very cool.  I cried in the middle of the store and bought one for my parents for their home too! I think I would have bought all of them if they had any more! I tried searching the internet to see if I could find a picture like it to post on here but I couldn't find one of a little boys shoes! So here is a pic taken with my phone of it...and it looks blurry for some odd reason?

If you are reading this, it means you are invested in this process and we are so blessed to have your support and prayers to bring our little guy home! Thank you!

Making plans...

My friend Deena, who is an amazing graphic designer (and probably THE most artistically gifted person I know!), is going to draw me a design for tshirts, etc. (kind of like our logo) for fundraising! She is also 1 month away from having her third baby so it is so sweet of her to do this for us! I have an idea of what I want as far as the sketch goes, but need to think of the perfect line to go with it, a verse or just a quote maybe?

So, we have to pay for the adoption, and yes it is very expensive....VERY. John and I have decided that we will pay for this personally and not do any fundraising for this. BUT, I do want to raise money for something else. And that something else is all of the other little babies and children that will be left behind when we leave the orphanage with our son. Our son's life will change, but what about all the other ones left there? My goal is to double what we need to pay for our adoption and give 100% to the orphanges in the area where God will choose our son. I will find out what they need the most, whether it is more food, cleaner water, blankets, education,  Bibles for the caretakers, etc. and that is where our resources will go. So selling these tshirts and everything else will help with that...

I look at it like this... my eyes have been opened, if I turn my head at this point, and only look to help MY child, that would be such a shame. I know we can help so many other children and that makes me even more excited about this process. 

Home Visit Done!

Yah! Our home visit is complete! All of our forms are in and our social worker is just waiting on a couple of referral letters to come in. Our social worker, Amanda, was very sweet and did video training as well as interviewed John and I for the USCIS forms. She met the kids and went through potential problems, attachment therapy etc...basically reconfirmed most of the things we knew through other training, but we did learn that Vanderbilt has an entire department dedicated to International Adoption with Specific Pediatricians that conduct physicals (which are strongly advised) when you bring your child home! We are so lucky to have such great resources here! These Doctors are trained to look for specific problems from children from different regions. There are also tons of resources and support groups for parents in the process and she strongly recommended therapy for us through the process and warned it's not a matter of IF there will be problems (such as slow movement --other countries sense of urgency isn't quite like ours here in the US) in the process but WHEN. I have read that everywhere! So it's very important for us to be very flexible and just try and go with the flow!
So now we are just preparing for the dossier and getting this together and just waiting on Amanda to compile our homestudy to send in with our application for immigration! I felt a huge relief today about this being done and spoke with her about letting more people in on our "secret" and expressed to her how I was so scared I would jinx it and she strongly suggested letting people in on it that will be supportive because it makes the biggest difference in having prayers and support in the process. So I can't wait to spread the news! I am so excited like you feel when you are pregnant--it's just a surreal feeling.  I just envision the day I get to see our child God created for us all the way over on the other side of the world! Pretty darn cool.

Homestudy Date!

So, exciting news...we got our homestudy date today for this Thursday, October 11 at 9 am! It is about half an hour of viewing our home and meeting the kids and then 1-2 hours of interviewing and educating John and I. This is the only one we have to do since we are combining the 2 together so that's exciting! So of course I will be in full organizing mode for the next 2 days, but problem is, the next 2 days are crazy busy! I am not too concerned with the actual homestudy (the social worker seems very sweet via email) but mostly just excited that this is the final step of the homestudy and we can next submit it to USCIS to get an approval to then send our dossier to Ethiopia.  So, inch by inch...we move a little closer to ending all the paperwork part.:)

Trust

Lately I have been reading (good and bad) through books, internet, blogs. etc. of the process and how children in Africa are treated. I knew this on the surface, but to read it is a lot to process.

Prayer:
"Lord, Please keep your arms around me during this trying time of approvals with this adoption. Please keep my heart in a steady place and not on edge. Please help me to focus on things that need my focus every day. I know we will love this child although I did not give birth to him...that has never been a concern of mine or John's, so thank you for that comfort...thank you for giving me a heart that loves so completely. Please help me with the struggle of wondering what if this child is not treated the way he needs to be in Ethiopia while we wait for him. I pray for the contentment that he is taken care of by You and that this is beyond my control. I know we have a way to go, and please keep a positive spirit within me during the process. I know now why you gave me a fighting spirit...I pray that I use this in Your name and make a difference the way you have called me to do. Please have mercy on our sweet baby...may he find peace and rest in his days ahead before we get to him. Thank you for choosing us to go through this life changing experience. I pray that I not only will make a difference in one child's life, but that you give me the knowledge, perserverence, and drive to make a change in many children's lives.  Please drive any insercurity out of me and keep my focus on what you have called of me. In Jesus Name, Amen"

Why Ethiopia? (watch this video!)

Below is a great video...I have watched many and YES I always tear up...or cry HARD! But, instead of just turning my head from it anad pretending it's not there, I want to absorb and learn all I can about the needs of these people and outside of adopting, strategize how I can do my best to serve when we are in Ethiopia. The first time, like I said would be a court visit, but I want to have a plan outside of that court visit what we want to accomplish when I step foot on African soil.




I saw this quote and absolutely love it..."Sometimes I would like to ask God why He allows poverty, famine and injustice in the world, when He could do something about it…but I’m afraid He may ask me the same question."

Medical Physicals Done!

We both had our physicals done today which included all the normal physical "stuff" , bloodwork, urinalysis, etc. The Dr. fills out a form provided by our agency and we have to get it notorized next Mon/Tues when the blood results are back. Very exciting to have that done and checked off the list. I think that Tuesday we will officially be done on our end and that makes me so happy! Hoping to get a date for our homestudy visit on Monday or Tuesday as well.  Then we send everything off to Immigration and we can work on getting this dossier done as well:)
John and I were just talking about the process and how lengthy and DETAILED it is! Which in the end is a good thing because it makes the Ethiopian adoption process that much safer for the children. The process, however, isn't my worry....

I ask that you please pray (waaaay in advance) for John and I (I am SO worried about this and I am trying not to be, but....not there yet)...once we have our child (via paper) and go to Ethiopia for court, we have to come home for sometimes months WITHOUT our child and then go back once he is officially approved on his end to go to court and bring him home. I know by this point I will just have to deal with it and be ok with it, but it just seems so sad to me...to meet him and then leave him.  They just changed this law recently..in the past it was ONE trip for 7 days. I really want to bring him home the first time! waaaaa waaaa waaa. Ok, enough whining about that:)

We got our first book in the mail today "E is for Ethiopia" to start reading to the kids! I want to start teaching them all about the culture and we can all learn about it together. The kids do not know about the adoption yet, as I don't think they could grasp the concept of time and Tyler especially is a little worrier and he would be really upset that his brother couldn't come home now! So further in the process when the time is right we will let them in on it...but I want to start educating them now and praying for not just their brother but ALL of the children who need homes and loving families.

We had our pictures taken today with Evin, a friend who we met 8 years ago in our newlywed class at The Peoples Church. She is an excellent photographer and took some very special pictures for us!

Eli was not at all happy about the process...as a matter of fact, he cried the entire session. Thankfully Evin wasn't bothered by it and just rolled with it...and thankfully John and I weren't phased either...this ain't our first rodeo with picture tantrums! This is an all consuming process right now...so I am posting pretty frequently but as time goes I will go ahead and warn, I am not the best blog updater! But I promise to do my best! :)

All you need is...

So we started a new church a little over a month ago and we are just absolutely amazed at how much we have learned so far in this very short time. We had been searching for so long for a church that was what we need at this phase of life. We searched for a few months, tried multiple churches, then ultimately went back to where we started. Not necessarily because we felt it was where we needed to be, but more we didn't find another church that was our new church home. Sunday after Sunday, we both felt we "needed to go", but was never really excited to go. One day I ran across something that said this church was opening a satellite church in Franklin. I had heard for years about it, but never went because it was in Nashville. 

So for weeks I prayed about it, and had a feeling that we HAD to go here. So the day finally came, we went to what I "thought" was the new church, turns out where I thought the church was located, was a different church! So at this point we are 20 minutes late, but I refused not to go! So, we googled it again, found that it met in a school, and off we went. It is a satellite  loaction which means the preacher is on a screen rather than actually there...something I was VERY leary about and hesitant. But I kept an open mind and told myself we are supposed to try this! AND...you guessed it. It was what we needed, wanted, prayed for, and more! I am so delighted we found this church and a huge bonus is my kids love it too! 

The topic for the last 4 weeks has been about reckless love. I thought I knew what love was but I was very wrong! It has taught me that loving recklessly is what God wants the most of us. Through this adoption process and backing up to many months ago when John and I made a the decision to seriously consider it sooner rather than later, isn't it ironic that God called it upon our hearts to adopt an orphan and THEN placed exactly what we needed in this process? Before we ever even knew we would try another church at this time? And the message is on LOVE? I personally think it is no coincidence whatsoever. I know He places what we need at the right time, in the right place, with the right people. I wanted to post this to remember that prayers are answered not exactly when we want them to be sometimes, but when they are supposed to be...which was decided long before we even knew we would adopt at this point in our lives.  

To our little man many miles away,

We pray for you every day...we already love you...we know you were created for our family...we will not give up until we have you here. Thank you for teaching us to love recklessly and have faith in God's timing.

Love,

Mommy and Daddy

Finishing Up the Homestudy...and a prayer;)

I am checking through everything and it seems we are ending the list of items for the Homestudy. It feels good to know we are almost finished with that portion. It is a lot of information! I worked on the boys room this weekend and it definitely feels odd to think that one of their old rooms (they are all together in one room!) a little one will be coming! I go from excited to scared, to anxious, back to excited pretty darn often. But one thing I feel the most is the confidence that we are making the right decision to adopt. I daydream all the time about what Ethiopia will be like when we visit, and what the child will look like, how old will he be...will he be scared to go home with us...and how in the heck will we make it all the way across the world with a baby or toddler in tow on an airplane? Emotional, exhausted, but I am sure the excitement will override everything.
I am trying to live by "ONE DAY AT A TIME"!  John told me a few mornings ago that he had a dream about our child. He said he was in an airport, and the little boy walked straight to him and put his head down on John's shoulder. So sweet! John has been very "Let's get this done, matter of fact, etc" about the whole process so when he gives me sentiments such as this one it means a lot. He is taking it all in and it's in his own way just like I have mine. Which is researching, reading, talking about it, reading some more...I can't believe people go through this process time after time! But, I suppose like pregnancy, you forget everything once you have your child.

Thank the Lord I have great support (when I can tell everyone) I would like to tell our news, but I also want to make sure that we have all of our dossier complete and sent to Ethiopia and accepted over there before we spread the news. I don't want to jinx anything! I can't believe I have kept my mouth shut thus far..that says a lot for me! I already love this child and pray for him every single day (multiple times), please do the same for him to be comforted wherever he may be right now and for God's protection. It is a rough world over there, and I hope he has a peace in his heart that we are coming for him.
I am going to, on occasion,  write out my prayer for the day. You don't have to read this, or anything else that is too intimate for your liking.  I think it will be a wonderful thing to document and look back upon one day to see the vulnerability of a prayer AND ultimately this is for our child so I want him to know how he was loved before he even knew it!

Prayer:
"Lord, please give me the patience to know that the perfect timing is YOUR timing. Please calm my anxious thoughts and to believe in the calling you have placed in my heart for this child. I pray for my husband to have a calmness as well and that any fear he may have that he doesn't share that he will come to you for guidance. I know we can not take this journey without your guidance, for you are the one who has directed this path from the very beginning. Most importantly, I pray for this child to know he is loved by You first and that his caregivers are kind and gentle with him.  I pray for peace inside of his body and in his spirit, that can only come from You.  I want him to know he is valued and is special, despite of his circumstances. I pray that if it is in Your plan, we become "Mommy and Daddy" to this little boy. Thank you for your grace and faithfulness, we are certainly not worthy. In Jesus Name, Amen"