Grateful on Good Friday...

It is so easy to get sucked into a thought process in your own life. For me, this week in particular, I have been waiting a little impatiently on the adoption referral, as I know many little ones are going to their new families! As I laid in bed last night, I thought..Hmm..I wonder if it will be tomorrow? This morning I woke up, began the day with the kids and every now and again, that thought would enter my mind.
It suddenly hit me that I am not thanking God nearly enough for these 4 sweet children that were referred to families this week ..they are no longer ORPHANS! They aren't MY children, but they are HIS. And that should make me anything but impatient...it should me make me overwhelmed with joy that this orphan crisis, that I have prayed for and feel so helpless about.... this week already there are FOUR less! How amazing is that?
Being Good Friday...I wanted to just think about the sacrifice He experienced on the Cross for us...the holes in his hands were not in vain, they were put there as a semblance to us, HIS adopted children, to live a life fully and freely and to share that same sacrifice and love to others that he showed to us.

I read this verse above and it made me think of when a child is no longer orphaned. That wasn't what it was in reference to in that particular verse, but it reminded me that we are the very same,....completely reliant on His grace, forgiveness, and love and ultimately, we are adopted into His kingdom. It makes me smile to know He works in His way, not ours.  So, today...I am not impatient (check back tomorrow because that may change! ha)...I am GRATEFUL.

What's new?

Not much on the adoption front! The great news is...2 out of the 6 children I spoke of have been referred to their forever families today! Which means there are 4 left in the group of children they received...and the 2 girls that were referred were a little older than we had on our preference form. I am starting to get anxious as I know our referral is getting closer! I have no idea just HOW close but that's just how this while adoption thing goes...lots of waiting and patience and letting go of any control whatsoever:)

Waiting and Trusting

Yesterday's devotional in "Jesus Calling" was so relevant and what I needed to hear.

In part.."Waiting for Me to work, with your eyes on Me, is evidence that you really do trust Me. If you mouth the words, "I trust You" while anxiously trying to make things go your way, your words ring hollow....Because you are Mine, you don't just pass time in your waiting. You can wait expectantly, in hopeful trust. Keep your "antennae" out to pick up even the faintest glimmer of My Presence."

A couple of weeks ago I spoke with our coordinator and she told me there were 7 children "in the works", which means they are gathering paperwork to prove their "orphan" status and then they have to have their attorney scan every child's documents to check to make sure all paperwork is correct to make a referral to the adoptive parents.  After a little prying today on the phone, she said a child had been referred back in January, but that she wasn't ready to be submitted for a court date until this week so there are 6 that are still being worked on. I asked if the age ranges were in line with what we had requested and if there were other families that may get referred at the same time where we could all go through the process together in Uganda...I figure it would be nice to have at least one other couple to go through the court, etc. with while there. She said that in fact the children were a great blend of what a few of the families have requested surprisingly, which means since we are next in line for referral, IF those children are in fact proven to be "true orphans" on paper...which is a process...our baby is one of those children! Which means he/she is here...living and breathing somewhere on the other side of the world! Crazy to even comprehend! Please pray with us that IF our child is one of those 6 children, that he or she is protected, safe, and kept healthy during this wait. I tried to pry further of course...BUT to no avail. She said she couldn't go into ANY details...age, sex, where they are, etc...until they are ready to referred. So we wait...and pray for whatever is to come. :) Thanks for your love and support...the words of encouragement, prayers, texts, emails, tshirt orders, donations..anything...no matter how big or small, we truly are so grateful for your love and most importantly..the love for this child!

OUR T-SHIRTS ARE UP FOR SALE!

I ordered our tshirts and they should be here in less than a week! I ordered a heather gray color, very soft knit cotton blend--they are unisex sizes xsmall-xlarge and child's youth sizes small and medium. The image above is what will be printed on them. When I receive an actual tshirt I will put it up on the blog as well:) If you would like to get one, just order on the sidebar of my blog and I will get it to you as soon as they get here! As always...Thanks for your support !

The Best Kind of Love..

Luke 12:48 --"From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked."


I know we have all had them, those moments when you are touched by something, and you can't even explain why you are so moved by it. I know I have..and mine usually include tears..and it is sometimes sudden and in a place where I need to pull it together. Examples...Gray's 5th birthday party, everyone can attest to my sudden breakdown as he blew out his candles, suddenly realizing my "baby" was officially a "big boy". Another example...in the pediatrician's office when Eli was so sick with the flu (because it reminded me of when he was a tiny baby that couldn't breathe and was rushed to the emergency room) me completely losing it to his Dr. and thanking him 3 years later for coming to the hospital on Christmas Eve when he wasn't even on call...which he kind of got choked up too so we kinda had a moment. (haha) My point is those (embarrassing) moments just happen, sometimes you know why..sometimes you don't. In relation to adoption...on the way home from vacation last year, on a plane...reading "Kisses from Katie". I had already read it once a year or so prior, but rereading it again, I was moved in a way I can't explain. I was crying on the plane with John, not just a tear, like a full on UGLY CRY.  In that moment, I felt like I could actually feel the love in this book for the country and children of Uganda through the writer. 
I still have the little sticky note on the page of one of my favorite quotes, which is in the intro:


"People often ask if I think my life is dangerous, if I am afraid. I am much more afraid of remaining comfortable. Matthew 10:28 tells us not to fear things that can destroy the body but things that can destroy the soul. I am surrounded by things that can destroy the body....Uncertainty is everywhere. But I am living in the midst of the uncertainty and risk, amid things that can and do bring physical destruction, because I am running from things that can destroy my soul: complacency, comfort, and ignorance.  I am much more terrified of living a comfortable life in a self-serving society and failing to follow Jesus than I am of any illness or tragedy."


 Fast forward, applications were done, homestudy done, dossier for Ethiopia done, then these feelings kept coming up..uneasy feelings like something wasn't "right" with our agency...something wasn't "right" with Ethiopia and turns out my feelings were right on point but I still don't know the "whys" of that. We could have still gone with Ethiopia with our current agency, but it's almost like that book was subconsciously a precursor for the decision to move to Uganda. 

Then, I ordered a book called "Ashes to Africa" and this was the first page I flipped to..just to read a quick line or two and this was it: "Any time art touches your life with tears, whether through a story, song, film, or painting, it was wise to pay attention to those tears because your tears could help you find your heart. And if you found your heart, you found what was dear to God. If you found what was dear to God, you found the answer to how you should live your life."

I immediately upon reading this thought, "YES! Reading that book, NOW I know why I was so moved! I don't think that was coincidence...I KNOW it was no coincidence." And because I like to know the "WHY" of everything and the reasoning behind it, I often overanalyze my decisions and question myself but the decision to switch agencies and countries has never once made me feel that was the wrong decision. For once, I can actually say I feel very confident it was the RIGHT decision.  

I want to always remember the little "ah-ha" moments through this process. I like to think it is God's little way of letting me know we are on the right track.. to the right child, HIS child, who He has planned for us from the very beginning.  

The paperwork is over...for now

DONE! All paperwork, REALLY THIS TIME, is done! Until after the referral that is...then the real fun begins with paperwork! I completely understand it, but man is it a process. I made my final trip to UPS to mail some documents to immigration to switch our country of origin from Ethiopia to Uganda (that was actually FREE, can you believe it? I can't!...but if you decide you want to switch countries again, there's a $400 price tag attached;o)
Our revised homestudy arrived yesterday in the mail and it was what I needed to make that change complete. So now we are truly in the WAIT, WAIT, Wait some more stage. We stay so busy, I am sure the time will fly by. What is nervewracking for me is not the actual wait , but the unknown of when it will be, and all the details to follow...traveling, etc...you know, that's when that whole control issue comes in. And then I have to remind myself that I have ZERO control over that!
Spoke with one of my bestest friends of over 12 years this am, and she put into perspective that God wants us to live with joy, not anxious thoughts...it says it over and over in the Bible...to be joyous.
I love getting encouragement like that in the form of a quick conversation..because it does keep you thinking and reminded of what is commanded of us and what we should be focused on being made of. Thank you Tamara!